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#1
Resently at school two teachers have been pretty funny. They are

1. My second name is savage. The teacher goes these barbarians are savages, but not michael savages.

2. Some emo guy in my ICT class goes Sir i'm doing miserably on these tests, to which the teacher replies "thats a bit of an emo thing to say".
The emo guy looks like this


Just wondered if any other teachers think there funny.
Last edited by mimimimi at Feb 5, 2007,
#2
"thats a bit of an emo thing to say"

owned by a teacher
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#3
haha, that second one is pure genius. teachers like that are great
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#4
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"thats a bit of an emo thing to say"

owned by a teacher

Funny thing is though that teacher has a daughter in are year and shes also an emo.
#5
First one not so much. Second one, hilarious depending on his emo-ness. My drafting teacher last semester was really funny. He owned people like everyday and hes like 65. I never expected such thing to come from him.
#6
Quote by danilo19
First one not so much. Second one, hilarious depending on his emo-ness. My drafting teacher last semester was really funny. He owned people like everyday and hes like 65. I never expected such thing to come from him.

The second one was funny because of the fact we were in pure boredom. It was English.
#7
We've had a few pretty great teachers, non I can remember now, except my yr 8 science teacher (now just a guy we randomly insult) who is fat and welsh. We used to have arguments with him about fat and basically you can call him anything insultive and he doesn't care, but he does NOT like to be poked

We also had an english teacher who was pretty great, he was always makin jokes and stuff and we used to constantly ripped him for his lack of hair, and then he would rip me back for bein' fat

I once wrote on the whiteboard 'Mr Futcher is a bald pillock' and he just came in and corrected it for grammatical errors
#9
Lol, emo got owned.
Actually today our bio honors teacher was pretty funny. We were talking about fossils and stuff.
"Ok guys a way scientists find out approximatly how old something is, is by relative dating, and no its not what they do in Kentucky."
Took a moment but it was hilarious.
#10
Another great one was when we turned the voltage up on some thing in year 8 when the teacher was out of the room. When she came in she nearly killed herself, she had to go hospital. The guy got bollocked by the teacher.
#11
i have a hilarous us history teacher who was a stand up comedien in NY for a few years, the guy is so funny.
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#12
lmao Well, my history teacher is pretty funny and random, like he'll do these weird diagrams (which we are supposed to take down as notes). One time when he was showing us venus figurines, (nude fat women, as fat was a sign of wealth in ancient times), he was holding one and since he had lost his train of thought he said "Why am I holding this figurine? Hmm.. I like this figurine.."
#13
Our geology teacher is pretty cool.
We're looking at some random ammenite fossils... and he brings in this dildo-shaped fossil and puts it on this girls desk for a laugh.
He also rips the piss out of religious people which is funny, even though im slightly religious.
Was funny when he was talking about marking our papers and saying he said he enjoyed a bit of wine whilst marking, so if theres any red stains it'd be his fault. And that it was best if we ignored any whitish coloured stains.
#14
My french teacher last semester was pretty awesome. He was always saying random stuff, if the class was too silent he'd say random stuff like buttsecks, vagina, penis to get us to at least react. He could pull out many accents he had sweet jokes and our theory exam he started giving us "examples" and when he said examples he did the quotes with his fingers and winked and started telling the "possible" questions and their answers. Then he said "Unless your mom dropped you, you would know by now that these are the actual test questions and answers." Then someone said "Do you have anymore of these "examples". He said yes and went on and said like 80% of the exam.
#15
We had a bald teacher who used to refer to himself in third person as a solar powered sex machine
#16
My old chemistry teacher told me the joke: whats the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds....there's 20 of em!

He left to join the navy
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#17
the other day in brit lit:

"'the rime of the ancient mariner' is about a mariner who shoots an albatross just to see if he can hit it. don't we all know someone like that? [redneck voice]...i bet i can hit that..."
#19
My old geography teacher was a funny dude. He was one of those teachers that throw chalk at you and stuff like that. One day he asked the class "Whats that one place in the world with millions of Chinese people" (the answer is obviously China) and this one kid (who is in fact Chinese) was trying to be funny and put up his hand and said "AFRICA?!!?!" While the entire class was laughing at him the teacher walks over to him, turns him around and write "Stupid" on his back in chalk. Funniest thing ive ever witnessed.
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#20
My english teacher rips phone books in class, and demonstrates moves such as the two finger take-down.
#21
There's this whiney chick in my English class. She doesn't do much of her work, gets bad grades, and just complains about it. And one day she was just like "Hof, I don't get what's going on, and you don't even care!" And he looked and her, and was just like "You're right Nicole. You could go to hell for all I care." and went back to his desk. It was amazing.
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#22
I can't think of any examples right now, but we have a few funny teachers, notably in the areas I want to go into, so that must be I'm destined for great things, in physics and phunny.
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#23
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We had a bald teacher who used to refer to himself in third person as a solar powered sex machine

i gotta remember that one.
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#24
Quote by GL1564
My english teacher rips phone books in class, and demonstrates moves such as the two finger take-down.


I have a teacher like that who is always showing everyone Ju jit-su and he always uses the same kid to demonstrate. I had a B in his class but he gave me an A because I "worked hard."
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#25
My math teacher is big into nin and wrote down a link where i could see a TV show he went too. And there was this bitchy chick who just got a retainer. When she talked back to him he said " why don't you talk back when you can speak right?"

she was quiet for the rest of the class
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#26
I don't have him for a class, but I hear the woodshop teacher at my school is a madman.
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#27
Our metalwork teacher is ridiculously funny. He has been known to buy alcohol for students, turn up to school drunk, walk into the hospitality rooms and rate the students on how much he enjoys whatever he is eating, tells at least 4 jokes in any single period, etc
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#28
i'm in web design and we were messing around in photoshop, and our teacher wanted suggestions for a menu button. so i recommended a staples' easy button. so he uses bevel and emboss and whatnot and makes this kickass easy button link. mind you, he's got this on the huge screen in front of the class. and then he drags open a text box and types in "just like hamilton's mom." matt hamilton almost died laughing.
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#29
my band teacher mr. whitener is hilarious.

a year ago he threw a pen at me at me though=(

but oh man hes always calling kids jackass, and trips kids.

and he always calls the percussionsts who flip their sticks "stupid drummer boys" and so when he was playing bass drum for a song, he started flipping his stick, my friend called him a stupid drummer boy and he whacked him in the nuts with the stick.

and my science teacher whos pretty old attempts to rap...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ylDVUJXNESo
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#30
Our teacher was showing us a map and pointed somewhere on it and said, "and this is where Galalio's balls dropped." He didn't mean it that way but still funny as hell.

Another teacher laughed and made a response to a cum joke.
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#31
my coach is hilarious. he is bald and stuff. well to make it short he is a stud. he likes it wen we all get haircuts. well one time we are breaking down and this senior named Chris is a jackass and he knows it but he is a cool one he is also the leading scoreer. but we break down and we yell chris is an ass. also my xc coach is a beasst she is an ex cop and dont go hold her hand or else you are on the ground in two seconds. my geography teacher, english teaher, and science teacher are all hilarious. i cant remember anything though but stuff happens like everyday. oh ya my english teaher was talking about this book to another student during class and she was like this is probably more a girls book, then she goes here you go josh and hands it ot my friend.
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#33
Oh christ, I basically chose most my teachers this year because they're funny. My Literature teacher makes so many innuendos an weird jokes it's almost a crime.

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#34
Haha, in my school we have this hting called the student's organization. The coordinator used to teach at our school but he stopped to concentrate on the student org. Anyways, me and my friends hang out at his office sometimes when on break. He's so funny. Yesterday we were joking around with him and he gave my friend the middle finger (in a joking way), so my friend who'e chinese gave him the chinese equivalent to the middle finger (you like put your thumb between your middle and pointer finger and make a fist). It looks really small compared to the middle finger, So the teacher was like "yea they do that because they all have small dicks".

Sounds kinda lame on here, but you'd have to be there and see his face to really laugh.
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#35
Quote by whatamidoinhere
My old chemistry teacher told me the joke: whats the best thing about having sex with 28 year olds....there's 20 of em!

He left to join the navy

At lease he didn't join seminary.
#36
I love class with my English/forensics and woods/architecture teachers. My English/forensics teacher is fresh out of college, so he isn't much older than us. We do all sorts of fun improv games for forensics, and a handful of us get together to play board games and Whose Line? games with him once a week. He also lets us play Oblivion on his computer from time to time and has a certain affection for a lot of nerdy things that we all like.

My woods/architecture teacher often joins me in poking fun at this really ditzy blonde girl who can't open her mouth without saying something ridiculous. Then she responds to us with dumb questions or answers, usually demonstrating to us that she didn't understand what we were saying, then we proceed to toy around with her while the rest of the class just laughs.

EDIT: Our computers/business teacher can also be quite funny. A lot of times, freshman girls ask him really dumb or obscure questions in computer class, to which he responds with something like this:

Oh, man, if only there was some sort of information superhighway where every computer in the world was linked together to share information, then you could type in an address and go to a page containing specific pieces of information you want...
Even cooler would be a kind of program or address on there that could search the whole superhighway and tell you where to go based on query keywords you type into it...

He also has a goldmine of hilarious stories about his cat Susie.
Last edited by Quintessence153 at Feb 6, 2007,
#37
One day I was staying after school to help the teacher out with computer problems. But at 4 they had to go to a sexual harrassment training class at the college so I went with them. And the greatest thing was this 50 year old teacher. During class he is very respectful, no humor and very quiet. But at this class he was quiet opposite. The greatest part was when the training instructer was talking about sexually explicit act to gain promotion is harrassment. And that that quiet teacher said, "What if I want to perform sexually explicit to gain promotion is that still harrassment?".
The instructer said, "I don't think that is what they are talking about."
And he replied with, "But that is what I am talking 'bout, how else am I supposed to get laid!?"
#38
All of my funny teacher stories revolve around "Smitty", the design and tech teacher at my old school in australia.

Best story happened at the end of 9th grade when we all had to go on this hike/trek/expedition thing for school. The hike happened to be in the area of a fairly popular holiday town in sydney (Hawks Nest for any of you aussies out there) with lots of beaches and rivers etc. Anyway one night he heard that there was a big Channel V (sort of like an Australian MTV) party with jelly wrestling and stuff in the main part of the town. So he decided to sneak out of the camp, stole one of our groups canoes and paddled down the river to the place where this party was being held. To cut a long story short, we didn't hear anything about this until the next morning when he tried to return in the canoe, very drunk, very naked but couldn't get out of the canoe so he started calling for help.

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#39
My Language Arts teacher has this black belt with studs and chains on it in his room. Upon asking him what it was for he replies, "Saturday night."
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#40
haha some funny shit here

when i was in year 7, we had list all the sports we could think of that started with the letter "m" for some reason. My friend put up his hand and said "is masturbation a sport?" We had this youngish teacher and she said in this really cheerful voice "masturbation isnt a sport its a hobby"......WELL i thought it was funny cause it was so unexpected
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