#1
ok these are some lyrics im workin on, its untitled so far since it is not completed. I'm sort of new at writing but any comments would be nice.


When i feel helpless, why dont i turn away
When it creeps into my soul, im dismayed
Seems all my thoughts arent what i ment
See my crying here, see me lying spent

This winter never ends, the sun will never rise
See our love go, carried out by lies
The time has come, no more do i fallow
So shove that in your mouth, ......now swallow.


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#2
i think that that is great. i cant wait to see the finished piece! there are a couple misspelled words, and its a little bit choppy, but you said you werent finished, or maybe its intended.