#1
Acoustic folksy, in the style of Belle and Sebastian.

Unfinished, would appreciate any suggestions you have

Verse 1:

Josie makes a star
With a stick, in the sand

She throws away her shoes
Where the sea meets the land

And though she seldom speaks
Her words are all around

She has such restless bones
Sings without any sound…

Chorus:

Josie don’t take your light into the city
They all sound so sweet and look so pretty
But they’ll break you down
They’ll break you down,
Why won’t you stay at home?

Verse 2:

Josie puts on her dress
And goes to chase her dreams

Through the floodlit broadways
And the movie scenes

She’s climbing the stairs
In circles, over again

She’s happily drowning
Peacefully in pain

Chorus:

Josie you took your light into the city
Don’t they sound so sweet and look so pretty?
But they’ll break you down
Oh, they’ll break you down,
Why won’t you come back home?
#2
Verse 1:

Josie makes a star
With a stick, in the sand

She throws away her shoes
Where the sea meets the land

And though she seldom speaks
Her words are all around

She has such restless bones
Sings without any sound…


i liked the verse 1 it had a good flow nothing i wont change

Chorus:

Josie don’t take your light into the city
They all sound so sweet and look so pretty
But they’ll break you down
They’ll break you down,
Why won’t you stay at home?


i dont like the reptition in the chorus rest is ok


Verse 2:

Josie puts on her dress
And goes to chase her dreams

Through the floodlit broadways
And the movie scenes

She’s climbing the stairs
In circles, over again

She’s happily drowning
Peacefully in pain

peacefully try some other word it hampers a flow a bit atleast in melody i am trying to sing it

Chorus:

Josie you took your light into the city
Don’t they sound so sweet and look so pretty?
But they’ll break you down
Oh, they’ll break you down,
Why won’t you come back home?



overall 4/5 . it was nice i liked it
Hi
#6
I thought it was really nice, and does seem very B&S. I love the first two lines of the chorus the most...I wish I'd written that...