#1
Heres one that I wrote, but just havent been able to write any music to that sounds right and flows. Have at it...


I had a thought, it was all mine
That this place was so right
Started flipping through a book
To pass the time one night

The story of a perfect tale
It seemed so innocent
By chance Ive read this all before
And knew just what it meant

Chorus:
It’s the same old story in a different book
Brilliantly disguised this time
And now its sitting back on top of the shelf
Collecting dust and lies

If time erased the words for me
I’d do it all again
And never let the feeling stop
A story with no end

The ink has dried and faded now
It doesn’t look the same
The writer of this lonely book
Is still the same old name

(Chorus)

The pages of a fairytale are always more than few
I should have read the ending first, to see the things you do

The pages of a fairytale were always more than few
I didnt read the ending first, it ended with chapter you

Would you read this book again
Or toss it to the side
Is it worth your precious time
To open back up wide

Ill leave it on this shelf I found
To fill the empty spot
Never to be seen again
Now hidden and forgot

(Chorus)
Last edited by jimbus at Feb 6, 2007,
#2
I had a thought, it was all mine
That this place was so right
Started flipping through the pages of a book
To pass the time one night
i dont like the last to lines. line 3 is to long anyways

The story of a perfect tale
It seemed so innocent
By chance Ive read this all before
And knew just what it meant

Chorus:
It’s the same old story in a different book
Brilliantly disguised this time
And now its sitting back on top of the shelf
Collecting dust and lies
idk, mabe change last line to 'gathering dust and collecting lies' do wat ever u want tho

If time erased the words for me
I’d do it all again
And never let the feeling stop
A story with no end

The ink is dry and faded now
It doesn’t look the same
The writer of this lonely book
Is still the same old name
the word 'is' doesnt seem to work here,try mabe 'has'
(Chorus)

The pages of a fairytale are always more than few
I should have read the ending first, to see the things you do

The pages of a fairytale were always more than few
I didnt read the ending first, it ended with chapter you
chapter you doesnt make sense to me

Would you read this book again
Or toss it to the side
Is it worth your precious time
To open back up wide

Ill leave it on this shelf I found
To fill the empty spot
Never to be seen again
Now hidden and forgot

(Chorus)


pretty good, i like the comparing the whole thing to a fairytale/book, i like it, ksit few things bothered me a little.7/10

crit one of my newest if u could