Page 1 of 2
#1
I don't give a shit if it's serious or not, I wanna know the best chat up lines ever, funny serious, anything!

the best I can come up with is:

Hey baby, wanna make babies?

yes as u can see, i'm having alot of trouble, maybe because I have a tiny penis, i dno


HELP!
#3
hey babe, i have a tiny penis.

try that
When I hit 'em from the back, I got them mami's saying dammit man.


When I put it in their mouth, I got them mami's saying duh-huh-huh-muhh.
#4
nice smile, can i jizz on it?

or

that shirt is very becoming on you, but of course if i was on your chest i'd be cumming too
Quote by Scutchington
I like this guy, he's UG's Greek, and he just told your ass in two paragraphs. And I once spent 5 minutes watching his avatar.


A Brain Malfunction

We'll Never Admit As Defeat
#5
Quote by AlexSlaine
yes as u can see, i'm having alot of trouble, maybe because I have a tiny penis


QFT
It's difficult to win unless you're bored.
#7
If you were my homework...

...I'd be carving words into you with a piece of graphite, realizing I had spelt something wrong and burning you with an eraser.
Get baked, study theory.

Quote by :-D
Why are you bringing Cm into this?
#10
Quote by Waterboy799
nice smile, can i jizz on it?

or

that shirt is very becoming on you, but of course if i was on your chest i'd be cumming too


U WIN!!!
#12
1. "Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?"
2. "Nice shoes, let's fuck"

EDIT: Dammit last biscuit. Same time
Quote by denizenz
Cute in English is the same as grim and frostbitten in Nordic.

Gear:
Washburn T14 B
Laney RB-1
#14
Are you gonna be walking to your car alone tonight?
Stop taking life so seriously, you're not getting out alive anyway.
#15
"Nice tits."

Also, it's a hit-or-miss if you go for the "______(insert any noun) sure sucks, doesn't it?"
Every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you
#16
Buttsecks?

Nice shoes, wanna ****?

Edit: damn beaten to the second one
If yor left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is easter, can i visit you between the holidays?
Quote by Bumper
Looks like you had a big bowl of Downs Syndrome for breakfast.



Member of the Bass Militia, PM Nutter_101 to join

Lover of Ashdown? Join the Ashdown Army!
#17
i lost my number, can i have yours?

i dont know where i live can i follow you?

do you have any indian in you? do you want to?
#19
Quote by chocolatguitar
"you wouldn't happen to have genital warts, would you?"

"...no"

"...want some?"

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAHAHHA
#20
You be the leg, I'll be the dog.'


Or a Ug favorite...


"I play guitar.
Quote by Shib


The internet: Men are men, women are men and little girls are FBI agents.
#23
1) If I said you had a beautifil body would you hold it against me
2) go up to a girl
"I bet you a quid i can move your tits without touching them"
she agrees. you then squeeze her boobs and say
'I lose, here's your quid"
Quote by mh400nt
Theres rats running around outside my window, one of them has an apple, he looks very happy about this.

Quote by Oblivion_Rps
Oh ****

Aaaah well. It gives me an excuse to rape.


Quote by Jaymz_515
Bunnywunnywabbitywoos.
#24
Someone had to say it : "Wants some buttsecks?"
Brokeback Lego - Animation Movie I Made

Quote by \GuitarHero/
Our band mascot is a Muffin.



A recent study shows that 8% of teenagers listen to nothing but music with guitars in it. Put this in your sig if you're one of the 92% who aren't close-minded morons.
#25
Quote by real_québécois
Someone had to say it : "Wants some buttsecks?"

i already did
Quote by Bumper
Looks like you had a big bowl of Downs Syndrome for breakfast.



Member of the Bass Militia, PM Nutter_101 to join

Lover of Ashdown? Join the Ashdown Army!
#26
Quote by AlexSlaine


yes as u can see, i'm having alot of trouble, maybe because I have a tiny penis, i dno


HELP!


Siggddd lmfao
A recent study shows that 8% of teenagers listen to nothing but music with guitars in it. Put this in your sig if you're one of the 92% who aren't close-minded morons.
#28
Quote by indie-bassist
i already did


Eh, I'm older on this site tan you, let's say I am right an you're wrong. Anyway you posted it while I was writing it.
Brokeback Lego - Animation Movie I Made

Quote by \GuitarHero/
Our band mascot is a Muffin.



A recent study shows that 8% of teenagers listen to nothing but music with guitars in it. Put this in your sig if you're one of the 92% who aren't close-minded morons.
#29
"Ever used the search button? D'you wanna?"
████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#30
Anything said by Zap Brannigan.

My friend told me that on this past New Years, I was so drunk I went around and actually used the lines "you know, I find the most erotic part of the woman to be the boobies" and "if I said you had a beautiful body would you take your pants off and dance around a little?". I don't really remember this, but those were always my favorites.

And no, apparently they did not work because I woke alone :/
Quote by LuthierofTexas
You motorboatin son of a bitch.

Quote by ibaRGnez321
I love you LilVikingBoy.


Member of the Church of Gilmour

Dance, Kirby, dance!
(>")> <("< <( " )> (>"< <("^) (^")> <("v) (v")> (v"v) (^"v) (v"^) (^"^)
#32
Quote by Kensai
"Ever used the search button? D'you wanna?"


Goddamn am I hard now!

#33
oh, i forgot:

"you've been in my thoughts."

"i have? i don't even know you!"

"yeah, i just masturbated in the bathroom."
#34
Quote by robbie
Goddamn am I hard now!




I'll try it again this weekend
████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#35
Quote by real_québécois
Eh, I'm older on this site tan you, let's say I am right an you're wrong. Anyway you posted it while I was writing it.

How does join date matter?
Quote by Bumper
Looks like you had a big bowl of Downs Syndrome for breakfast.



Member of the Bass Militia, PM Nutter_101 to join

Lover of Ashdown? Join the Ashdown Army!
#36
Quote by AlexSlaine
how about...

"Out of all the girls i've had an erection over, your the first"

(adapted from futurama)


FUTURAMA FTW!!!!
#37
how bout
Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd tap that ass

Excuse me, but is your dad a baker? cause he sure gave you nice buns.

I lost my number, can i fuck you?

Will you, perhaps, be walking all alone through a dark alley tonight?

This is a stickup.


or just hit her with a shovel and bring her back home.
Last edited by me_llamo_juan at Feb 7, 2007,
#38
This one time I got a text from this one girl I know after I had just finished masturbating and I was like

"Hey...I was just thinking about you"


That was irrelevant.
Quote by Shib


The internet: Men are men, women are men and little girls are FBI agents.
#39
Quote by Friggly
This one time I got a text from this one girl I know after I had just finished masturbating and I was like

"Hey...I was just thinking about you"


That was irrelevant.



no it's not, look at my post a few posts up.
Page 1 of 2