#1
Here is a song with a very punk feel to it.
All crit welcome
Thank You.

Drink It or Inhale It
---------------------------------

Lazin out through the week.
its time for the snow to hit the beak.
Head for a place that may seem far.
Its the only place you dont feel in the dark.

while the green runs low and your head spins fast.
i think its time to hit another glass and go wild.
And all the while, this livin is cramping my style ......
im still lovin it so, time to let up and let everything roll....

Drink it down or inhale it up
1 hour later your feeling ruff
Drink it down or inhale it up
its all the same all you want to do is get ****ed...

Now youre feeling the toll of time
Looking at your hand reading your life line.
Thinking about what may come next
then you decide to continue and just get wrecked

its the same again and your green is down
its another dizzy memory of you in your town
the nights a blur and so is your head
Looking close to the time to hit the bed
oh yeah its looking close
Looking close to the time to hit the bed

Drink it down or inhale it up
1 hour later your feeling ruff
Drink it down or inhale it up
its all the same all you want to do is get ****ed...
#2
Quote by fokker
Here is a song with a very punk feel to it.
All crit welcome
Thank You.

Drink It or Inhale It
---------------------------------

Lazin out through the week.
its time for the snow to hit the beak.
Head for a place that may seem far.
Its the only place you dont feel in the dark. This line doesnt really fit IMO, maybe a little restructuring

while the green runs low and your head spins fast.
i think its time to hit another glass and go wild.
And all the while, this livin is cramping my style ......
im still lovin it so, time to let up and let everything roll....

Drink it down or inhale it up
1 hour later your feeling ruff
Drink it down or inhale it up
its all the same all you want to do is get ****ed... I think it would flow better if you changed "want to" to wanna. "its all the same all you wanna do is get ****ed"

Now youre feeling the toll of time
Looking at your hand reading your life line.
Thinking about what may come next
then you decide to continue and just get wrecked

its the same again and your green is down
its another dizzy memory of you in your town
the nights a blur and so is your head
Looking close to the time to hit the bed I would lose Looking in this line, they work well in the other two tho
oh yeah its looking close
Looking close to the time to hit the bed

Drink it down or inhale it up
1 hour later your feeling ruff
Drink it down or inhale it up
its all the same all you want to do is get ****ed... again wanna rather than want to


other than a few alterations I liked it. I'm not sure about the rhythm you were looking for so I recomended some changes for the rhythm I thought was best
-----(\__/)-----
------(0--0)-----
-----=\0/=-----



FIGHT THE BAN

SAVE OUR LAMBS
#3
Cheers for that m8
The alterations you made were realy good.
Cheers man.