#1
//verse//
I need understanding,
not ignorance,
nor pathetic sympathies,
i need something to grab hold,
something real, logic, anything,
to keep me from insanity

//chorus//
you know you're right,
even if tears flow,
and it wont stops,
at least your happy.
every breath i take,
makes you hate me more and more,
maybe i should end this,
yours or mine?

//verse//
now nothing's worth it,
roses turning black,
slowly turns to dust,
even sorry cant help,
my soul drifts away,
towards the Sun,
Burning what's left of me.

//chorus//
you know you're right,
even if tears flow,
and it wont stops,
at least your happy.
every breath i take,
makes you hate me more and more,
maybe i should end this,
yours or mine?

//verse//
Dont wait till i die tommorow,
death crawls early,
as demons and so-called angels collide,
God's my only witness
to see if you even exist
yeah, know i know,
know i know that youre kisses and roses,
equal nothing,
nothing at all

//outro//
you know who you are..
you know who you are!!
Last edited by rafael90 at Feb 9, 2007,
#3
I dont know if its just because of how its spaced or not, but it gets pretty boring structure wise
try grouping some lines together to add more mood and story to it.

Grouping it like this makes it a ton easy to read!!!

I need understanding,
not ignorance,
nor pathetic sympathies,
i need something to grab hold,
something real, logic, anything,
to keep me from insanity


you know you're right,
even if tears flow,
and it wont stops,
at least your happy.

every breath i take,
makes you hate me more and more,
maybe i should end this,
yours or mine?

now nothing's worth it,
roses turning black,
slowly turns to dust,
even sorry cant help,

my soul drifts away,
towards the Sun,
Burning what's left of me.


you know you're right,
even if tears flow,
and it wont stops,
at least your happy.


every breath i take,
makes you hate me more and more,
maybe i should end this,
yours or mine?


Dont wait till i die tommorow,
death crawls early,
as demons and so-called angels collide,
God's my only witness
to see if you even exist

yeah, know i know,
know i know that youre kisses and roses,
equal nothing,
nothing at all

you know who you are..

you know who you are!!


"my soul drifts away,
towards the Sun,
Burning what's left of me."


"Dont wait till i die tommorow,
death crawls early,
as demons and so-called angels collide,
God's my only witness
to see if you even exist"

I really liked these bits once it was all brought together!!


crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=522183
Quote by MarchOfEternity
Oh, and azza, you're a pretty good writer! Graybass is a god amongst men and you're turning real quick to be his new messiah lol.

Quote by graybass_20x6
You're doing good, mate.

Keep up the good work.

I'll take A for $500, Alex.
Last edited by azza6 at Feb 9, 2007,
#4
thnx for the crit again. its not my fault the spacing is like that. i did group them together. i cut and paste this from my blog. i'll crit yours if i got time.