Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
1,430 IQ
#1
I'm back with another song. This one is kinda..I dunno. Melodic death with some doom elements I guess. But yea. This one is pretty much done, so I thought I post it here to get some feedback or suggestions on it. Thanks in advance.

:EDIT: Check towards the bottom of this thread for an updated version.
Attachments:
Beyond Thy Dreams.zip
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
Last edited by Nunwhxre 666 at Feb 10, 2007,
Garb
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2005
1,776 IQ
#2
That was really good. I liked everything except the guitar solo.. It just sounded disjointed and not too great to me overall. But other than that, amazing. =)
Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
1,430 IQ
#3
Yeah, it was a solo I threw together really quick. I think I might change it. But, thanks for the crit, bro.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
Spark1284
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2004
244 IQ
#4
i liked the riff in bar 59 alot, except for the weird harmonizing at the end. the piano i dont think added much, they can do alot more than just make a guitar riff sound cool. the solo was alright, maybe a little disjointed but it looks like it could be easily fixed. overall it was well constructed and the riffs were good. i just think u should take full advantage of the piano if u really want the music to stand out
MYSELF INFLUECE I


soo much n00bage
Quote by xX Maverick Xx
sorry to bust everyones bubble but lamb of god arent "hardcore" theyre death metal, and therefore metal.
Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
1,430 IQ
#5
Well, I didn't want to piano to be like "ZOMG THAT'S THE BEST PART OF THE SONG!!!" I just wanted a little something in the background to give it a little atmosphere.

And I re-did the solo, I think it's a little better. But, I'm still not really happy with it. My solo writing has been off lately.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
Last edited by Nunwhxre 666 at Feb 10, 2007,
ch715dallat
BTBAM=Godly
Join date: Jun 2006
3,466 IQ
#6
that was pretty good, the riffs were solid, as said above the solo was a bit iffy, but that solo in the second one was pretty nice, it sounded more natural in the song, very dark. unlike the guy abov i thought the piano was well composed and used. i dont know whether ud like my tab but if you like check it out, thanks.
Spark1284
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2004
244 IQ
#7
uhhh that second post is not the same song as the first
MYSELF INFLUECE I


soo much n00bage
Quote by xX Maverick Xx
sorry to bust everyones bubble but lamb of god arent "hardcore" theyre death metal, and therefore metal.
ch715dallat
BTBAM=Godly
Join date: Jun 2006
3,466 IQ
#8
i assumed when you said u redid the solo that was you posting it again, just the solo with a different rhythm and lead because the zip file was named teh same? anyhoo.....
Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
1,430 IQ
#9
Sorry guys. Spark was right. It wasn't the same song. I have so many files named "melosomething" that I got confused. But, this is the song from the original post with the updated solo. Once again, sorry for posting the wrong thing, but hey. Everyone makes mistakes.
Attachments:
Beyond Thy Dreams.zip
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
cool#9
next satriani
Join date: Feb 2006
309 IQ
#10
Thats really cool man. The second solo is better, although it just seems like your wanking it. I love the piano parts, and most of the guitar parts are alright, they just don't seem to hit right with the piano imo. Great stuff though. If you've heard the song Steel Rain by some other dude on here, thats what this reminded me of, in terms of how well thought out it was.
HumanitysDeath
UG Board King
Join date: Jun 2004
264 IQ
#11
I. Absolutely. LOVE. The. Piano. Oh. Em. Gee.
Seriously. It sets the mood for the whole song. This song wouldn't be the same without the piano. The bass and piano work together beautifully. The bass is subtle, but out-there enough to be noticed.

The guitar just completes it.

I. Seriously love this song. Get a band, record this shit, and send me a free CD. And go!
Spiral Out
Liam Efting
The Wiz
Join date: Dec 2006
87 IQ
#12
A very good effort, thats for certain, I'm not a big fan of this type of music, but I am open minded enough to tell you wether it's good or not.

The composition is solid, it needs drums to complete it IMO. I like the piano, but at some points it seems to be out of key with the guitar. Very dissonant and kind of throws off the mood of the rest of the song.

Leads are alright, very suitable for this style of metal. I like the solo, interesting choice of notes.

I'd give it a 6/10, but only because of a lack of drums, and the piano being off key at points. I'm a very critical person, so I give criticism in my reviews. Rate mine? I put it up in a midi at your request.

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=523059
NOTE: I will crit your songs back, I'm Dial up, be patient.
Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
1,430 IQ
#13
Well, I had muted out all the instruments but the piano on this and used it as a backing track, and I played the riffs over it and I didn't think it sounded that bad. Maybe it's just the midi screwing things up as usual. *Shrug*. But thanks for the crit.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
onebetter
User Registered
Join date: Aug 2006
1,268 IQ
#14
It wasn't my favorite, I though the piano detracted from the song in parts. Some of the melody was kind of odd, too, especially the harmonizing. I say it's kind of held back by the piano once it gets past the intro, and it seems kind of slow. I don't know, maybe this was what you were going for, but it was just ok for me. I think you've done much better.
pete07
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2007
395 IQ
#16
im liking the piano part like words cant describe, my only crit with it is that while it carries on throughout the song it sort of detracts from what the guitars are doing. Great solo, some good rhythm work too but sometimes the piano clashes with the guitar and creates some discordance, its a good tune but it does need just a little tweaking, nothing major.

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=524061
fav13andac1)c
Poor son of a gun Texan
Join date: Feb 2005
2,021 IQ
#17
I thought it was a pretty good song over all. No offense, but it's to heavy for me. I like the solo though. but the last note came kind of sudden to me. try using a ritard at the end or have the outro fading out.
ClosedCasket
hardcoretillidie
Join date: Apr 2007
154 IQ
#18
Dude, that was pretty gnarly!!!

I loved the intro, with the clean guitar and the slow distortion behind it. Very tasteful, yet very powerful. I wasn't too keen on the intro leads at about measure 21, i think. The riffs were tasty, and the piano in the verse worked real well. Not too sure about the pre-chorus. I dunno if it's the sudden pace change, but it seems kinda flaccid. No impact really for me. The keyboard interlude was nice. Very Cradle of Filth. (btw, in my eyes thats a good thing ) The guitar solo was different. The keyboard behind it was a nice touch, and its nice u didn't go for balls out shredding, cause that would have trashed the song. I liked the ending too, the way the second verse starts to tone it down without losing the listener.

Overall, that was one sweet song. The only problem in my eyes is the Pre-Chorus.

9/10
hardcore.till.i.die
proud subscriber to the Official Bodybuilding and Nutrition Thread.
Nunwhxre 666
You have ****ed up now!
Join date: Aug 2006
1,430 IQ
#19
Thanks for the crit, I see what you mean about the song losing pace in the pre-chorus, but the main reason I kept it is because the 2nd time it goes into it, I just really like it there. So I didn't want to change it for that reason. And the solo. I would NEVER....EVER...put a pure shred solo in a song like this (having the overall doom metal feel), they just don't fit at all. I just felt a semi shred part was necessary though just to keep it interesting though.

Thanks for the crit, bro.
Quote by 1201ZJ
Well this calls for a beer, Uncle-Dad Cletus!

Quote by EchoxOath
HAAAAA! Jokes on you! I high fived you with the hand i fapped with!
Led_Zeppelin992
Banned
Join date: Dec 2005
375 IQ
#20
Hmmm. Excellent song. The intro was great, in my opinion. Really solid, strong riffs too. The solo...hmmm. Well, it was pretty good. The updated one is far better than the previous one, more continous and less disjointed. One thing about the whole song though, it kind of felt like the whole song was building up for something that never came. As it goes on, I felt a kind of rising force typing thing but the climax never really came. Still, a great song however.