#1
Valley of the Dead

Souls rise up from the ground
Here In Hell there is no sound
This is the home of the undead
By Lucifer this valley is lead
We carry his mark on our back
Soon we will rise as he leads the attack


Can't deny what lurks beneath
Soon the truth will be unleashed
Relalize it when it goes through your head
You shouldn't have crossed the Valley of the Dead!


We carry our weapons of war
Soon there will be no more
Prepare for the end of mankind
Don't even try to run or hide
Blood drips down from our lips
Today is the day of the apocalypse


Can't deny what lurks beneath
Soon the truth will be unleashed
Relalize it when it goes through your head
You shouldn't have crossed the Valley of the Dead!


tell me what u think thanks
#2
really peaceful.
Seriously though, I can't stand lyrics of that nature, but I will say that it is well written for what it is. (flow and rhymes are all good and don't sound stupidly forced)
#3
Souls rise up from the ground
Here In Hell there is no sound
This is the home of the undead
By Lucifer this valley is lead
We carry his mark on our back
Soon we will rise as he leads the attack

Good start, although the last two lines don't feel as good as the rest.

Can't deny what lurks beneath
Soon the truth will be unleashed
Relalize it when it goes through your head
You shouldn't have crossed the Valley of the Dead!

Decent chorus, although it is very cliche, still its chatchy and fits well.

We carry our weapons of war
Soon there will be no more
Prepare for the end of mankind
Don't even try to run or hide
Blood drips down from our lips
Today is the day of the apocalypse

The first two lines feel a little forced, but the rest of the verse is good, not as good as the first verse, but still good.

Can't deny what lurks beneath
Soon the truth will be unleashed
Relalize it when it goes through your head
You shouldn't have crossed the Valley of the Dead!

The song in general is good, the rhyming works, the wording is good and the mood is set well, it has a good feeling of "the quiet before the storm", but one thing I can't ignore is that this is very cliche, there must be thousands of metal songs that sound the same, I think that you should find something more interesting to write about, writing these songs is great fun, but doesn't challenge you writing ability or improve it, and really no matter how good the song may be, in the end of the day it lacks any meaning.


C4C? my latest song is the two loves that I have in my sig.
#4
Absolutley brilliant! The best song I've ever read on this forum!

*Applaudes*
Raise your chalice my brother
Raise it high
To catch the fire that falls from the sky