#1
In my heart there is a hole
It has been infected
Booze and drugs don't help the cure
No one with this pain should bear it

You're the poisonous heart
That wrecks my body and soul
So now I'm telling you
Take your stuff so we can let go

At the bar she met someone
She didn't think I'd mind
How wrong that was, now she's gone
I'll I've got left is wasted time

You're the poisonous heart
That wrecks my body and soul
So now I'm telling you
Take your stuff so we can let go

I don't wanna laugh
But I don't want to cry
The poor man with his two dimes
Is definitely feeling more alive

You're the poisonous heart
That wrecks my body and soul
So now I'm telling you
Take your stuff so we can let go
#2
In my heart there is a hole
It has been infected
Booze and drugs don't help the cure
No one with this pain should bear it

Good start, although the flow is so-so, especially between the first and second lines and the third and fourth lines.

You're the poisonous heart
That wrecks my body and soul
So now I'm telling you
Take your stuff so we can let go

Good continuation, the flow evens out here.

At the bar she met someone
She didn't think I'd mind
How wrong that was, now she's gone
I'll I've got left is wasted time

I presume you meant "all I've got...", Again another good verse.

You're the poisonous heart
That wrecks my body and soul
So now I'm telling you
Take your stuff so we can let go

I don't wanna laugh
But I don't want to cry
The poor man with his two dimes
Is definitely feeling more alive

Still good, although the last two lines feel just slightly cliche, but this is just nitpicking.

You're the poisonous heart
That wrecks my body and soul
So now I'm telling you
Take your stuff so we can let go

Overall this song is very good, apart from the flow problems in the first verse, it is a good solid song, I can definitely picture a dirty rock n' roll sound to go with it.


C4C? my latest song is The two loves that I have, in my sig.