#1
First one I've submitted to this site, please critique...

Degeneration of our Nation

Verse 1
Who needs reciprocity, when we have conformity
Who needs animocity, while we have minorities
Who says we need leaders? we love our anarchy
Who else can we blame? the fault's on you and me
Verse 1

Verse 2
Shut up and listen, don't think for yourself
MTV is right and creativity is shelved
Today's youth is wasted? I agree totally!
Once again, the blame falls upon you and me
Verse 2

Chorus
Society is declined, the Economy... it ain't fine
People starving out in the street
and the rest of us, can't spare a dime?
Show's how much we care, Show's how long we really are there
Shows the Degeneration of our Generation!
Degeneration of our Nation!!!
Chorus

Verse 3
Moral standards today... they are low,
Kids are high while their parents are slow
All they are learning is all the right moves,
The moves that will earn them a kid or two
Their parents don't care... why they're hardly involved,
All they do is sit back and wait for the fall
Today is depressive, subliminally aggressive...
The state of our country is sickening!
The state of the world is sickening!
Verse 3

Solo

Chorus
Society is declined, the Economy... it ain't fine
People starving out in the street
and the rest of us, can't spare a dime?
Show's how much we care, Show's how long we really are there
Shows the Degeneration of our Generation!
Degeneration of our Nation!!!
Chorus

Verse 4
Get out in the streets, come out and rebel
If we don't act soon, our world won't stay well
You kids have to put down the booze and the pot
And parents... you have to grow up on the spot!
Verse 4

Chorus
Society is declined, the Economy... it ain't fine
People starving out in the street
and the rest of us, can't spare a dime?
Show's how much we care, Show's how long we're really there
Shows the Degeneration of our Generation!
Degeneration of our Nation!!!
Degeneration... of us all!!!!!
Chorus
#2
ok, its long, so lots probly wont crit. but sense mine are usually long, ill give u a hand and crit it.

Verse 1
Who needs reciprocity, when we have conformity
Who needs animocity, while we have minorities
Who says we need leaders? we love our anarchy
Who else can we blame? the fault's on you and me
idk, its just me but i got a 'rap' feeling out of this verse...
Verse 1

Verse 2
Shut up and listen, don't think for yourself
MTV is right and creativity is shelved
Today's youth is wasted? I agree totally!
Once again, the blame falls upon you and me
the 'i agree totally' is kinda weak. angain im getting a rap vibe from this...
Verse 2

Chorus
Society is declined, the Economy... it ain't fine
People starving out in the street
and the rest of us, can't spare a dime?
Show's how much we care, Show's how long we really are there
Shows the Degeneration of our Generation!
Degeneration of our Nation!!!
the fourth line is too long, try cutting it down
Chorus


Verse 3
Moral standards today... they are low,
Kids are high while their parents are slow
All they are learning is all the right moves,
The moves that will earn them a kid or two
Their parents don't care... why they're hardly involved,
All they do is sit back and wait for the fall
Today is depressive, subliminally aggressive...
The state of our country is sickening!
The state of the world is sickening!
Verse 3

Solo

Chorus
Society is declined, the Economy... it ain't fine
People starving out in the street
and the rest of us, can't spare a dime?
Show's how much we care, Show's how long we really are there
Shows the Degeneration of our Generation!
Degeneration of our Nation!!!
Chorus

Verse 4
Get out in the streets, come out and rebel
If we don't act soon, our world won't stay well
You kids have to put down the booze and the pot
And parents... you have to grow up on the spot!
Verse 4

Chorus
Society is declined, the Economy... it ain't fine
People starving out in the street
and the rest of us, can't spare a dime?
Show's how much we care, Show's how long we're really there
Shows the Degeneration of our Generation!
Degeneration of our Nation!!!
Degeneration... of us all!!!!!
Chorus


its long, and im sorry but it sounded like rap to me, and not a song.but i do like the internal rhyming u got in there, but im not sure it would do too well a a song. but dont let that get to u, if u really like it, go ahead and put it to music

crit 'upon the unknown' if u could