Hey, I'm new to lyric/songwriting, in fact this is my first entire song I've ever written. Anyone got suggestions to the lyrics? Thanks
Verse 1:
There are many things I want to tell you
Things better off not said
I know the secrets of living
Or with you, the secrets of the dead!

You asked me for nothing and yet you asked for it all
The setup for failure: It doomed us to fall

Your time is up
The present to the past
It’s your turn to go to hell
Futility unsurpassed

I can hear the demons crying
They’re calling for you

Shrouded in eternal laughter
Redemption shaded from view

I can hear the demons crying
They’re pleading for you

Take you to the ethereal asylum
Won’t you follow them through?

Verse 2:
You can’t take back the past
No, nothing can be taken back
Making the same mistakes as before
Only hoping it’s the last

life when you’re depressed: has no purpose
everything is futile. Nothing but emptiness

Some ideas
are better off dead
I gave you your final chance
Never listened to what I said!


How to do you live on
Knowing that your world is gone
When you realize what was taken away..
Would you prefer to be lead astray?

How come once you get it all figured out
The stern faced king gives a shout
Mounting the pale horse, ready to attack
Making your life ready to fade to black

Spoken word w/ guitar solo:
You will never break the chain

You never know unless you die

Maybe the circle was meant to be broken

Divided we stand, united we fall