#1
Many of you have heard me say this, but I have a theory. My theory is that "All women are crazy, it's just a matter of how crazy are they." I based this theory off my mother's montra that "Insanity is defined by doing the same thing repeatedly, but expecting change to happen."

Observations:
I have had girlfriends get mad at me and tell me that "if don't know what it is, [she's] not going to tell me." Then, whenever I perform the same thing again, she would act suprised and get pissed.

Reflecting guilt. This is when women do something wrong, but break the laws of physics and make us, the guys, feel guilty. For example, "I got an F on my test. What, you got a B? Why didn't you help me?"

The "fat clause". This is when you say/do something, and a woman thinks you said/did it because she is fat. For example, Valentines day is coming up. Do you buy chocolates? NO. Chocolates are for fat people (apparently). Do you get her an overpriced card? NO. This shows that you lack creativity. But if you don't get her anything, she thinks that she is not important enough to you.

The "you choose". Every guy's worst enemy. The "you choose" roughly translated means, "there is a correct and an incorrect answer. It should be apparent to you." McDonalds and Wendy's are seldem the correct answer.

Hypothesis:
Women are crazy because they own our asses.

Experiment:
Taking a girl out to dinner at the following places:
Taco Johns
McDonalds
Houlihans
Barbosas

Testing their reaction to the food/portion size. Past experiments have shown that women like smaller portions at increased price.

Conclusion:
Women are indeed crazy.
#2
Quote by ckellingc
Many of you have heard me say this, but I have a theory. My theory is that "All women are crazy, it's just a matter of how crazy are they." I based this theory off my mother's montra that "Insanity is defined by doing the same thing repeatedly, but expecting change to happen."

Observations:
I have had girlfriends get mad at me and tell me that "if don't know what it is, [she's] not going to tell me." Then, whenever I perform the same thing again, she would act suprised and get pissed.

Reflecting guilt. This is when women do something wrong, but break the laws of physics and make us, the guys, feel guilty. For example, "I got an F on my test. What, you got a B? Why didn't you help me?"

The "fat clause". This is when you say/do something, and a woman thinks you said/did it because she is fat. For example, Valentines day is coming up. Do you buy chocolates? NO. Chocolates are for fat people (apparently). Do you get her an overpriced card? NO. This shows that you lack creativity. But if you don't get her anything, she thinks that she is not important enough to you.

The "you choose". Every guy's worst enemy. The "you choose" roughly translated means, "there is a correct and an incorrect answer. It should be apparent to you." McDonalds and Wendy's are seldem the correct answer.

Hypothesis:
Women are crazy because they own our asses.

Experiment:
Taking a girl out to dinner at the following places:
Taco Johns
McDonalds
Houlihans
Barbosas

Testing their reaction to the food/portion size. Past experiments have shown that women like smaller portions at increased price.

Conclusion:
Women are indeed crazy.


Uh.....DUH!
Quote by brandooon
Buy both pickups. Rub icyhot on both of them. Sandwich your penis between them and walk to the nearest homeless shelter with your brand new icyhot penis sandwich.
#5
If wendy's isn't the correct answer, I don't want to be with that girl. My GF loves going out to wendys. We find different things to dip in frosties all the time. (if you know what pocky is, try that!)
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#7
Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeee...

That's some intelligent shit right there.
#8
Quote by CowboyUp

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#11
Quote by ckellingc
Testing their reaction to the food/portion size. Past experiments have shown that women like smaller portions at increased price.

uhmm i cant speak for all women, but i definitely like larger portions at whatever price


seriously though, thats a terrible generalization. id be perfectly happy with nothing but company from him on valentines day. if im mad at you, im gonna tell you what you did wrong. i dont care if you choose wendys. their chicken nuggets are killer.
Quote by mr. cool
popapez fucking knows every thing from how to touch a girl right to how to speak spanish
Quote by Smokey Amp
Popapez can shred0rz the acoustic guitar
Quote by search49
In the Pit, generally only the things that popapez said were worthwhile. You're a goddess, darling.
#13
The good thing about being gay is that you can get the girls to be super friendly to you, and you don't have to deal with most of the drama associated with girls.

Conclusion: Poor straight guys... I feel for you guys.
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- SmarterChild - says:
I don't know if I can help it.

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#14
I think this is stolen from some comedian.
Quote by BeefWellington

what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
#16
This is common knowlege, and popapez's comment is invalid because she's not a typical chick
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

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#17
Quote by Ace88
This is common knowlege, and popapez's comment is invalid because she's not a typical chick

im gonna go ahead and take that as a compliment. i dont want to be lumped into the same group as "typical chicks"
Quote by mr. cool
popapez fucking knows every thing from how to touch a girl right to how to speak spanish
Quote by Smokey Amp
Popapez can shred0rz the acoustic guitar
Quote by search49
In the Pit, generally only the things that popapez said were worthwhile. You're a goddess, darling.
#18
Quote by ckellingc
no, i just ranted. i just made all that crap up the other day.

EDIT: Parts of it might be, but if so I don't remember.


Ah, well I guess your bound to say similar things since it seems that 75% of comedians rely on comparing males and females for laughs.
Quote by BeefWellington

what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
#19
im gonna go ahead and take that as a compliment. i dont want to be lumped into the same group as "typical chicks"


No, you definitely dont. Take it as a compliment.
Quote by yellowfrizbee
What does a girl have to do to get it in the butt thats all I ever wanted from you. Why, Ace? Why? I clean my asshole every night hoping and wishing and it never happens.
Bitches be Crazy.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ஜ۩۩ஜ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
#21
Quote by popapez
uhmm i cant speak for all women, but i definitely like larger portions at whatever price


seriously though, thats a terrible generalization. id be perfectly happy with nothing but company from him on valentines day. if im mad at you, im gonna tell you what you did wrong. i dont care if you choose wendys. their chicken nuggets are killer.


My ex-gf never tells my why shes mad at me and then she broke up with me.

Quote by brandooon
Buy both pickups. Rub icyhot on both of them. Sandwich your penis between them and walk to the nearest homeless shelter with your brand new icyhot penis sandwich.
#22
Quote by Will_Minus
The good thing about being gay is that you can get the girls to be super friendly to you, and you don't have to deal with most of the drama associated with girls.

Conclusion: Poor straight guys... I feel for you guys.

Yeah, but in the end, you're still getting effed in the a.
MG Free At Last
#23
gah, i know.

crazy.

sometimes my girlfriend seems to get mad at me for no reason, and when i ask whats wrong, she wont tell me. wtf? how am i supposed to know what i did? if i knew something i did or said would make her mad, would i have done it? in most cases no. so how should i magically know whats wrong, when i dont think i did anything wrong at all?
#24
This thread is almost as cool and as intelligent as me (no i dont get a lot of girls)
Last edited by CAPTAINAMAZING at Feb 12, 2007,
#25
Women..You can't live with them, and you can't stuff them in a burlap sack.
hey guy!
#26
Quote by daytripper75
gah, i know.

crazy.

sometimes my girlfriend seems to get mad at me for no reason, and when i ask whats wrong, she wont tell me. wtf? how am i supposed to know what i did? if i knew something i did or said would make her mad, would i have done it? in most cases no. so how should i magically know whats wrong, when i dont think i did anything wrong at all?


*hugs*
#27
Quote by Will_Minus
The good thing about being gay is that you can get the girls to be super friendly to you, and you don't have to deal with most of the drama associated with girls.

Conclusion: Poor straight guys... I feel for you guys.


Uh...I'm bi. So...where do I fit into this?

EDIT - Nvm. No wonder I've always been so close to my female friends...
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#28
my ex was a grade a bitch. she refused to talk to me when she was pissed and sent messages through her friends. then dumped me. wtf?
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#31
Quote by daytripper75
gah, i know.

crazy.

sometimes my girlfriend seems to get mad at me for no reason, and when i ask whats wrong, she wont tell me. wtf? how am i supposed to know what i did? if i knew something i did or said would make her mad, would i have done it? in most cases no. so how should i magically know whats wrong, when i dont think i did anything wrong at all?

Get away from that NOW. I know that bitch and you will never be able to breathe with her around.
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#32
Quote by Sid McCall
If wendy's isn't the correct answer, I don't want to be with that girl. My GF loves going out to wendys. We find different things to dip in frosties all the time. (if you know what pocky is, try that!)



omfg i would sell my soul to japan for pocky
#33
Quote by FearTheD
omfg i would sell my soul to japan for pocky
omfgomfgomfg!!!

Pocky is FANTASTIC!!

I remember when I went to China, we went into a milk bar and they had a whole SHELF of pocky!!

I almost died...
I didn't have a signature until now.
#34
The people in the store must've found it hilarious when I'm standing there going " POCKY!!!! Dude!! Dude!! Look! It's POCKY!!"




Silly white people.
I didn't have a signature until now.
#35
Skepto's tips to a successful relationship, that one day, we should all come to realize are true:

1. As holders of the penis, we are inherently wrong.

2. See number 1.

3. Get a job. Relationships are expensive.