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#1
anyone know any stupid jokes or puns that are just so stupid you cant help but laugh at them?

like:

two guys walk into a bar...

you would have thought at least one of them wouldve said ouch.


the first time i heard that, i cracked up. its not funny now, but does anyone know anything else like that?
#2
why are stadiums so windy.... there are too many fans... lame
Quote by Jackolas
If I opened an Indian my slogan would be...

"If you don't crap your pants within five minutes of consumption you get a free warm soda!"
#3
Why did God give us 2 eyes?..........So we could put our emo fringes over 1 of them, i never laughed at that one
#4
Every "knock knock" Joke is lame
And if I only could,
I'd make a deal with God,
And I'd get him to swap our places,
Be running up that road,
Be running up that hill,
with no problems.
#5
Anything by Chris Rock
Dave Mustain has wrote some of the most amazing solos...
That he can't actually play!
#6
Here's one I claim to have made up, because I've never heard it before.

"How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One."

Say that one and start laughing really loud and push whoever you told it to, and they'll probably start laughing at how stupid you look.

It's what I do.
#9
why was cinderella bad at soccer? and there are 2 reasons
1. she ran away frm the ball
2. her coach is a pumpkin
#10
Quote by zac89
why was cinderella bad at soccer? and there are 2 reasons
1. she ran away frm the ball
2. her coach is a pumpkin


That's pretty good actually

I don't have one
hue
#11
2 fish in a tank, one says to the other: "do you know how to drive this thing?"
Quote by Cadj
Okay, big-T is a legend first and foremost

Quote by necrosis1193
You are awesome, Big T.

Quote by Trowzaa
Would like to publicly state that Big-T is my new God and Hero
#12
Q: What's green and has sex with old ladies?
A: Me in my lucky green anorak
Dave Mustain has wrote some of the most amazing solos...
That he can't actually play!
#14
Quote by Cecil Gonzales
Q: What's green and has sex with old ladies?
A: Me in my lucky green anorak





Q: What's the best thing about having sex with 23 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.


hahahah, no.
Funny words.
#15
Quote by disturbedfxcker
what did cinderella do when she got to the ball?

she gagged


#16
wots the difference between a polar bear and a grape?
their both purple except for the polar bear

i was laughing hard
#18
Quote by ^om the mad man
wots the difference between a polar bear and a grape?
their both purple except for the polar bear

i was laughing hard






And in some cases, neither are purple.
Funny words.
#19
where do u find a dog with no legs???....right where you left it....dumb...my teacher says it all the time
#20
How do you put an elephant in a fridge ?
You open the door and put him in there.

Hahahahahahaha :|
#21
Two cookies walking down the road, one gets run over, the other says "Crumbs".

What's the difference between an elephant and a fly? Quite a lot really.

Why did the football fan's ear set on fire? He was listening to the match.


Who's the daddy? JamieB
Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#22
OK. You want stupid jokes...

A duck walks into a drug store and gets some Chap-Stick. He takes it to the clerk and the clerk says "That'll be $1." The duck says "Just put it on my bill."

What do you call a candy cane that is hooked into the back of a stripper's thong?
her-ass-mint

A dog walks into a bar and tells the bartender "I'll have a beer." The bartender says "Holy Sh!t--A TALKING DOG!!!"
Quote by thedude051
bubbaearl...Man that is...THE SICKEST NAME EVER!!!

Quote by Stress Cow
bubbaearl... apparently it's the sickest name ever

Are you over 30?
Probably not, but if you are, click HERE.
#23
Garlic Bread?!

We're laughing at him, not with him because Peter Kay is a not funny and talentless!
#24
Quote by Ollie Led Zep
Garlic Bread?!

We're laughing at him, not with him because Peter Kay is a not funny and talentless!





Off you go.
Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#26
Why did Johnny fall off his bike?


Someone threw a fridge at him

and heres a good one: The Search Bar and its useage


~Rocker007
#27
Quote by magicninja_
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?"


So Cher walks into a bar...


..haha

ok well on topic, umm.. oh yeah

So this guy goes to alaska because he wants to learn to be an eskimo. He gets there, and the eskimos tell him that in order to be one, you have to do three things: Drink a pint of firewater, wrestle a bear, and make love to this woman. He says, "okay." So he drinks the firewater, and leaves town to find the bear. He's gone for a long time, and when he finally comes back he looks like he's been torn to shreds, and he says, "So where's that girl I have to wrestle?"

...
-[NiL]-
#28
ok ok i got one, 3 tomatoes are walking down the street, a pap tomatoe, mama tomatoe, and a baby tomatoe. the baby tomatoe starts to like lag behind. So the papa tomatoe gets all pissed off and angry and goes up to the baby tomatoe and squashes him and says "catch up!"

*comedic drum noise*

#29
Girl: "Mummy, mummy Timmy won't play jump rope with me"
Mother: "But Jill you know it makes his stumps bleed"
Dave Mustain has wrote some of the most amazing solos...
That he can't actually play!
#31
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.

EDIT: Just remembered this one.
Two guys are at their high school dance. One of them has a wooden eye. He's afraid to ask any girls to dance because he's insecure about his eye, so his friend suggests he ask this girl with a harelip to dance. He goes over to her and says, "Would you like to dance?" She says, "Oh gee, would I!" He says, "Harelip," and storms off.
Last edited by I floss daily at Feb 12, 2007,
#32
Quote by Doolittle
ok ok i got one, 3 tomatoes are walking down the street, a pap tomatoe, mama tomatoe, and a baby tomatoe. the baby tomatoe starts to like lag behind. So the papa tomatoe gets all pissed off and angry and goes up to the baby tomatoe and squashes him and says "catch up!"

*comedic drum noise*


pulp fiction?
-[NiL]-
#38
Man walks in to a library and asks the librarian "do you sell nuts and bolts?"
The librarian replies "this is a library"
and the man says "oh sorry" then whispers "do you sell nuts and bolts?"
if you can't be a good example
be a bad warning


Quote by aequitasveritas
lol, so i got a boner this one time and i was watching tv, so i decided to hump the little crack between the two cushions of the couch. yeah.


www.free-game-downloads.mosw.com
#39
Here is a good one to really anger people:

Wanna hear a joke?
The 19th Amendment
Kill your MySpace, get a Virb
#40
There are 7 purple elephants, and 4 of them want to play in the snow. But how many elephants get to play in the snow?

None cos it wasn't snowing.
Quote by pimpinazndude
^ wut he said


YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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