#1
My friend was trying to explain to another the differences in rock genres, i found some pretty funny:


A princess is trapped on the highest tower of a castle and is guarded by a big ugly dragon,whos to save her?

Heavy Metal Style :

Arrives in a harley davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and ****s the princess.

Prog Metal:

Plays a 26 min virtuoso solo. Its so tedious the dragon kills himself . Then he goes on to the princess and plays another solo with all sweep picking, tapping and weird time signatures, at a zillion bpm and wahtever the hell more, the princess gets bored and runs away with heavy metal protagonist.

Black Metal:

Arrives in the middle of the night. Impales the dragon and sodomizes the princess. then he drinks her blood in satanic ceremony until she dies. He finds out she wasnt a virgin and impales her too.

Gore:

Kills the dragon and rips his limbs from him. sodomizes the princess with the dragons insides. then he opens holes on her body and sodomizes them.Then he opens holes in her eyes and rapes them. Then he makes an autopsy and releases a cd with one of the images as cover.

Grunge:

Arrives high up on heroin, escapes the dragon and gets to the princess. Tells her about his sad childhood . The princess punches him in the face and goes away with the Heavy Metal guy. Our hero suffers a heroin overdose.

Classic Rock:

Gets there smoking some pot, and offers it to the dragon. They become friends. Then he camps with the princess in the garden, and after a lot of sex drugs and rock n roll, he suffocates on his own vomit after some shots of LSD.

Emocore: Cries to the dragon about how much he loves the princess. The dragon let him pass. He doesnt find the princess, shes gone with Heavy Metal hero. The tower is round, having no corner to cry in, he writes an emotive song about how he loved the princess. Then kills himself.

Punk:
Spits on the dragon, throws a rock at his face, and runs away. Then he paints an anarchy A on the castle wall and ****s the princess.

Hard Rock:

Arrives in a red conversible car drinking jack daniels and with two hot blondes with him. Kills the dragon and does an orgy with the princess and the girls.

Glam/Hair MEtal:

The dragon laughs so much that he lets him pass. He steals the princess' make up and convinces her to dye her hair pink. Then writes a power ballad about her.

Indie:

Enters through the back. The dragon doesnt like beating ugly skinny nerds, so he lets him pass. The princess cant stand hearing him talking about fashion and cinema and runs away with Heavy Metal Protagonist.


These are what we thought up when bored at school. Add some more.
Last edited by RealThing at Feb 12, 2007,
#2
Lol!
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#3
LoL and
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#5
Well, I guess at least the punk got sex.
Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#6
Damn thats so true!
you forgot:
country:

cames to the dragon and challanges him to a dual at 12......kills him, gets the girl and drinks him and herself to death........
i know it sucks......but yours are hillarious!
#7
I got another reason for lovin' Hard Rock and Classic Rock
My gear:
-Ibanez JS 6000 Custom w/ 11-48 gauge
-Ibanez FGM 400BB w/ 10-46 gauge
-Peavey 6505 2x12 Combo
-MXR Phase 90
-Boss DD-6 Digital Delay
-Morley Wah/Volume Pro Series II
-Boss CS-3 Compression Sustainer
-Gator G-Bus 8
-Xotic BB Preamp
#8
This is really old but it's still funny. Surprised all these people haven't seen it before.
#9
Quote by af_the_fragile
!!!
That was brilliant!!!

But why does the heavy metal guy gets the girl most of the time!!


dunno, lack of creativity, and because heavy metal is cooler than all those.
#10
^ No it isnt
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.


Ben Hamelech
#11
Blues:
arrives on a train with only a guitar,plays the saddest thing ever and shuffles past the dragon while it cries and falls in love with the princess,gets dumped and dies in a ditch with no money
#12
Jazz guy:
Turns up, recites a poem to the dragon. The dragon is confused but figures jazz guy might be okay so lets him past.
Jazz guys constructs an amazingly complex ladder to climb the tower. He climbs and climbs only to find the ladder doesn't actually go anywhere. 30 years later jazz guy is still telling people the story of the dragon and the ladder. The dragon is still confused.
Dave Mustain has wrote some of the most amazing solos...
That he can't actually play!
Last edited by Cecil Gonzales at Feb 12, 2007,
#13
Old
Quote by KileManA7X
You sir, are an honorary genius! Take this badge, you made us proud!
#14
Rap:

Rollz up wit da nines, attempts to intimidate dragon into submission. Dragon, momentarily blinded by bling-glare, is confused enough to let them pass. Writes a shit tune about the princess's tits'n'ass. Is generally sh it.
Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa fa fa faa fa fa fa fa-fa faa


Quote by Paul Brannigan
Pie is like bread, but just with more pie in it
#16
Listen to some of Kirk Hammets. They're not actually very long but it will feel like you've been listening to the same solo for half an hour.
Dave Mustain has wrote some of the most amazing solos...
That he can't actually play!
#17
Quote by GiantRaven
I don't think i've ever heard a 26 minute long solo...

That's because you've never listened to me.

...just kidding.
#19
nu-metal

guy slays the dragon using his spiked haircut, rescues the princess and drives away in his totally pimped-out 89 buick with an obnoxiously loud stereo.