#1
So yeah, I'm sitting here watching Nick Jr. (it's a snow day, day time TV blows) and I just realized how incredibly slow and crappy children's television is these days. So I propose a revamping for Nick Jr. programming.

First, ditch the damned xylophone music for some heavy, in your face rock. These kids need a musical bitch-slapping in the morning so they'll really be enticed to "learn". I'm tired of all this cutesy music hindering today's children. The only thing the current music is doing for children is putting them to sleep. Not very motivating now, is it?

Next, toss the damned "Spanish enrichment" theme. Shows like Go, Diego, Go and Dora the Explorer just sicken me. Kids these days don't need to be multicultural, they need to be proud of their own heritage and be single minded zombies. Don't give me this "it's preparing them for the world by teaching them multiple languages" bullshit either. The only thing kids are getting prepared for are jobs at Wendy's. So it's settled, Spanish stays on SiTV and Unavision and American stays with our kids. Into the trash can it goes.

Another thing that needs to go is everything cute. No more bright colors, no more characters with huge eyes, and no smiling. Lets face it, the world isn't nice and cutesy, it's dark, boring, and mean. Why fill these kids with false images when we could be showing them at an early age what they are really going to encounter in real world? Instead of shows based around counting and shapes, give them shows about dealing with a 9 to 5 job and sitting in a cubicle like a caged animal for all eternity.

The final thing on my little revamp list is up the fucking speed! On these shows you give the kids at home 20 seconds to answer, then wonder why there are so many kids in special ed these days. We need to give kids information in rapid fire succession pounding right into their brains like a MAC 10. If you're worried about it "not sinking in" then use subliminal messaging. Every now and then flash an image on the screen for a split second, and use the same few images over and over throughout the programming block. They will eventually get it without even realizing it.

If anyone with Nick Jr. happens to read this I ask you, just consider some of these changes and future generations will forever be changed.

#2
Yeah but, it's nick jr... Come on you didn't anything else better to watch?

Anyone know if they still have that huge ass happy face that would come on between shows and just talk about random crap?
Duke Ellington - If it sounds good, it is good.
#3
Fair enough. But honestly, do kids actually watch these shows? id guess its just stoners and people with too much time on their hands, so heavy metal ftw!
X


"Just wait till tomorrow
I guess that's what they all say
Just before they fall apart"
#4
...yeah.

Nick has always sucked anyway.

/pointless, intelligent post
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#6
Haha, I'm guessing you're being sarcastic. Unless you want a whole generation of kids to grow up as neo-Nazis.

And was face still on? Man, that mutherfucker was the bomb.
#9
Quote by Leonheart
Haha, I'm guessing you're being sarcastic. Unless you want a whole generation of kids to grow up as neo-Nazis.



And this is a problem?
#10
Quote by happytimeharry
And this is a problem?


Well what do you think will happen to the Jews? Careful not to get banned again.
#12
Quote by Leonheart
Well what do you think will happen to the Jews? Careful not to get banned again.


Haha, I know I know. I'm not really serious about the Nazi thing...
#13
They could take Ren & Stimpy off of Nick. and put it on there... I <3 that show.
NOPE.
#14
Quote by Burpin'Worm
Nick Jr. should run Monkey Dust 24/7. That'd fix the kids.


Oh man, that show was fucked up. I remember the kid that would go see his divorced dad, and somehow the dad would end up killing himself.
#15
Quote by charvel_man
They could take Ren & Stimpy off of Nick. and put it on there... I <3 that show.


They could barely keep that on Nick, they only show a few episodes of them now I'm told. There's no way it would be on Nick jr. And I also <3 that show.
#16
Quote by Leonheart
They could barely keep that on Nick, they only show a few episodes of them now I'm told. There's no way it would be on Nick jr. And I also <3 that show.


Yeah, Spike TV didn't even have Ren & Stimpy on for more than 1 season I think so no way in hell Nick Jr. would touch it. That was probably one of the most overall fucked up shows Nick ever produced...