I just wrote this, needs work, but I want to know what you all would change. Please exuse the language, but that is the way the song is... metalish song!

Placer of redemption
Corruption Relation
Pace the walk
No time to talk
Stealing pain
It won't ****ing rain
Most of us deal well
Round and Round we go
Will that shit stop?
Please me, Release me
I hate this thing
**** it ALL!!!

Clouds rolling in
Blood runs cold
Blackness sets in
Rain is coming
Nothing but these ****ing narks
Who can I trust
Who the **** even cares at all
They claim we are fake
We’ll ****ing break that
Our shit’s real
We’re gonna **** that nark up

<<<<<<VERSE 2>>>>>>>
Nark that shit
It isn’t true to do
I can’t see your ****ing face
The dark hides you well
If I find out who you are, I swear
Check this shit, cant touch this shit
Realize how true we are
No Nark will rip this apart!
**** you, and your cheap tricks too
I beat your ass, what more do you need?

<<<<<<CHORUS REPEAT>>>>>>

<<<<<<<VERSE 3>>>>>>
Come sit down
Round and round we go
Lost control, the blood runs fast
I’m ****ing gone!
I could take it for long!
We’re gone, see ya!
Win the war, lose the battle
I still make this music
It’s the true power, if you dont like it well **** YOU!
Tom’s the lead, I’m the rhythm, Rocking the bass is justin
It aint nothing special and nothing new
I hope to see you soon!

**** YOU!!!