#1
Dutch Apples has been working on writing some children's songs for a college project. Figured it would be a little different from here. NO one who has heard Day at the Beach has been able to keep a straight face. Let me know what you think.

This is from the final demo. These are currently unmixed and processed. I still have some editing to do and I'm adding some female vox but these are the basic songs. First two listed:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=395401
I was once heavily prominent on these forums from 2004-2007, let's see how long I can stay now that I'm back.
#2
Day at the beach:
It has a nice rythm and the chords are very happy. Great song.

You are my friend:
Even with the electric guitar it's not too heavy for children :P The lyrics are good considering the aim and it has a fast rythm, children usualy like that I think, for headbang :P
the vocals are also quite good! (changed my view XD :P)

All in all, very good stuff! Keep it up
hands down.
Last edited by BMTuga at Feb 13, 2007,
#3
Woah man.

Do you think you could have been any more harsh in your critique of my songs?

There's a point when a critique goes from helpful to just downright mean, I think you were pretty mean to me.

But your songs sound pretty good to me.

If I was to be as nitpicky as you were I would say that the vocals could come up and be a little bit more bright, but to tell you the truth that's a level of detail that nobody cares to mention except you.

The vocals sound off in a lot of places the friend one.

But it's music for children, and it does its job well.

Good stuff, that's all that really needs to be said.
Last edited by pepajak at Feb 14, 2007,
#4
the vocals were good the rest was a lil if y get what i mean, but since it is supposed to be a kids song, ya did pretty good felt like i was back in 1st grade
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#5
Day At The Beach: Very happy, really diggin the overall sound.

You Are My Friend: Might be a little heavy for a little kid, but overall pretty cool.

Mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=525258
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#7
Day at the Beach was really fun. I liked it a lot.

Friend I was not so hot on. I think there are a few reasons why. First, it may just be that I listened to Beach first and this one was kind of a downer in comparison. Also, I thought the guitar was too metal sounding for a kid's song. The final thing is that I thought this song sounded like it could have been the B-side to Bryan Adams' "Summer of '69". It was kind of melodramatic almost, like I should have felt good listening to it but I didn't. Maybe it could be in a different key or something?
#8
The vocals sound bad.

Terrible mic quality on that, they need to be louder and WAY more bright.

I couldn't understand one thing you said through either song.

The vocals themselves are decent on the first one but on the second one they sound horribly out of tune throughout the whole song.

The second song doesn't attract any kind of audience at all, it's too heavy for kids and too pussy for teenagers or adults.
"The shopowner and his son ... well that's an entirely different story altogether ... I had to beat them to death with their own shoes."
#9
The Vocals are terrible on You are my friend. This person might be your friend, but quarter tones are not. The first one was a little better vocal wise, but, it sounds like a poorly performed Wiggles song. Okay I guess.
#10
Thanks for the comments guys. I agree that Day at the Beach is better than You are my Friend. The reason behind that is there was about a 9 month gap between both of them and my children's songwriting skills improved in that time. I'm going to call back in the guy who sang on You Are my Friend to re-do them an octave down and get some better sound quality. The female will also probably do leads if that doesn't work.

thenexthendrix, who said it was me singing? and didn't you read that it's not mixed or processed yet?
I was once heavily prominent on these forums from 2004-2007, let's see how long I can stay now that I'm back.
#11
Swim Trunks Swim Trunks Swim Trunks!! yeah your songs are lame even the ones that arent kiddie... and ive noticed in alot of your posts you are just an ass... Some people have really nice stuff and you put them down. Need to make urself feel good much?
#12
Haha...This brings me back to my childhood. Great job with what you are trying to accomplish. Obviously I don't usually listen to this kind of music, but you did a great job with it. The swim trunks part is funny, and the distortion in you are my friend is pretty cool for a kids song. It sounds kind of heavy for a children's song, but I mean kids like to ROCK AND ROLL /m/ /m/. At least I know I did. Keep it up. Check my stuff out, too. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=522091 Thanks.