Poll: Is cheating with your best friend really THAT bad?
Poll Options
View poll results: Is cheating with your best friend really THAT bad?
Yes, you should burn in hell.
48 47%
No, but with anyone else it is.
13 13%
No, sleep with whoever you like and don't give a crap what anyone thinks.
15 15%
I don't care, i just read your story and it made me laugh out loud and abuse/spam you.
27 26%
Voters: 103.
#1
Hey guys

My girlfriend asked me 3 months ago if we should see other people. I thought it might be healthy for our relationship, to see all the crap that's out there and make each other realise we are amazing (modesty was never my strong point...).

Anyway, we are both seeing other people at the moment, but we are both starting to realise how much we miss each other. I know, I can hear all UGers now going "boo-****ity-hoo".

However, we don't want to go back to our previous relationship unless we know that it will be at least as good as it was before, if not better.

Also, she is also my best friend so we still talk for hours every day.

So my point is, is cheating with your best friend such a bad thing? The line between best friend and bf/gf is very small, is it ok to put a toe/leg over every now and again?I know it probably is, but, and at risk of being labelled the most clichéd person on UG, if we are meant to be together, wouldn't this just help us?

Vote or reply if you have any useful to say. And i know his should probably be in the relationship thread, but i wanted a poll and i don't know if you can do that on there.
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Originally Posted by LazyGuitar
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I never thought I'd say those words.

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Originally Posted by alex_haeni
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#2
boo-****ity-hoo

Idk, I don't date my best friend

At least, I...no I don't, stop it
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#3
Touching story. Y cant u just dump the other chick?
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#4
Dude, dump the other chick, and get back with your ex/best friend. That's like the best thing to have.
#7
Where's the option for "Yes, but do what you want and don't listen to these kids"?

It sounds like you're happier with your best friend, stick with her.
#8
I'm confused...is the girl who suggest the break your best friend?

I would have said cheating was bad...but you haven't really been cheating in this situation to be perfectly honest

I think you should both try being back together and see what happens
#9
You're saying that because freindships are so close to romantic relationships it's okay to be romantically invovled with your best friends sometimes when seeing other people.

You get my twat of the day award. It's the first one I've ever given out, so wear it with pride, twat.
Providing you're smart enough to realise that the pin goes in the clothes, not your eye.
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#10
why dont you just be swingers ?
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#12
Sorry threadstarter, i've read your posts 3 times and still cant understand you..
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#13
Quote by GiantRaven
I don't think I get what he's saying...

Okay, from what I can gather:
Him and his friend were dating
Him and his friend agreed to see other people
Him and friend are now seeing other people
Him and friend are still best friends
Him and friend like each other again
He wants to know if he can cheat on who he's seeing with his friend because friendships and relationships are 'practically the same' so anything that happens is alright.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#14
Quote by Dinkydaisy
Okay, from what I can gather:
Him and his friend were dating
Him and his friend agreed to see other people
Him and friend are now seeing other people
Him and friend are still best friends
Him and friend like each other again
He wants to know if he can cheat on who he's seeing with his friend because friendships and relationships are 'practically the same' so anything that happens is alright.

Well, at the very least they should break up with the people they're going out with...
#15
if your dating and she asks if you can see other people that means she wants to. she don't like you enough, i wouldn't wanna stay with someone who thinks i'm not good enough.
it will be considered cheating (especially when the current gf doesn't know about it) and the other realised she made a mistake.

the 1st was wrong before for parting with you, and now she wants to get you back. the 2nd doesn't deserve that kind of treatment,
if you have any sense of honor and you like the 2nd gf stay with her.
if you want to be a cheating(or dumping) asshole, get back to the 1st.
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#16
First...get buttsecks from the girl you're with.


Second, break up with her and go back with your best friend...best friend dating relationships are the best.
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#17
i don't think you'll be best friends with that person if she finds out you'r cheating on her. double mistake, cheating(thus end of relationship), and losing a best friend
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#18
i like the 2nd gf, but i like my 1st gf more cos we're best friends.

Fretboard, i'm willing to forgive her cos she knows she made a mistake.

Dinky, what i was saying was it would sort of a trial togetherness (like the opposite of a trial separation) to see wat happens and if we should dump our current partners for each other cos were so madly in love. We're only human, i know that deep down somewhere i love her and she loves me. We just need to see what would happen.

Things won't work out between her n her current bf, or me n my current gf. But we know there's a chance that we could work. Amazingly well, at that. It worked before, and you can't blame her for being curious as to know who else is out there.

The other complication is that we're both ok-ish friends with our current bf/gf. They go to our school as well. We don't want to hurt anyone, but we also want what is right for us.
Nothing really matters...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyGuitar
I'm only responsible for the Korean jizz...

I never thought I'd say those words.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alex_haeni
Bahah, i just got BUTSECKS to work.
#19
Quote by FretboardToAsh
i don't think you'll be best friends with that person if she finds out you'r cheating on her. double mistake, cheating(thus end of relationship), and losing a best friend


nah, you've got it wrong. the person i'm with at the moment is NOT my best friend. i want to get back with my best friend but i also dont want to hurt the person im with so badly shell get her dad to anal rape me and my best friend.
Nothing really matters...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyGuitar
I'm only responsible for the Korean jizz...

I never thought I'd say those words.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alex_haeni
Bahah, i just got BUTSECKS to work.
#20
Quote by fudge65315
nah, you've got it wrong. the person i'm with at the moment is NOT my best friend. i want to get back with my best friend but i also dont want to hurt the person im with so badly shell get her dad to anal rape me and my best friend.

Well don't cheat on her
#21
Quote by fudge65315
nah, you've got it wrong. the person i'm with at the moment is NOT my best friend. i want to get back with my best friend but i also dont want to hurt the person im with so badly shell get her dad to anal rape me and my best friend.


then i'd dump her, may sound cold but still. if i was that sure i'd like my best friend better, i'd probably do it. however not too get a doubt in your mind but if your best friend even wanted to see other people it's gonna be a hard one to see past that and just be happy together.

also it's not about forgiving or not, but more like if someone wants to be with you and then thinks maybe there are even better fish in the pond. i'd think she isn't serious about it, oh well. maybe i'm just either to old-fashoned or seen too many movies
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#22
Quote by fudge65315
i like the 2nd gf, but i like my 1st gf more cos we're best friends.

Fretboard, i'm willing to forgive her cos she knows she made a mistake.

Dinky, what i was saying was it would sort of a trial togetherness (like the opposite of a trial separation) to see wat happens and if we should dump our current partners for each other cos were so madly in love. We're only human, i know that deep down somewhere i love her and she loves me. We just need to see what would happen.

Things won't work out between her n her current bf, or me n my current gf. But we know there's a chance that we could work. Amazingly well, at that. It worked before, and you can't blame her for being curious as to know who else is out there.

The other complication is that we're both ok-ish friends with our current bf/gf. They go to our school as well. We don't want to hurt anyone, but we also want what is right for us.

Life isn't a bloody movie. Who cares about 'deep down' and whatever else you feel like crapping out at us, you're using these people as a safety net if it doesn't work out. Don't. Either end it with them and start a new relationship, or stay with them and don't.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#23
I voted that you should burn in hell. But that all depends about how you and your girlfriend feel about the situtation. Personally, if my girlfriend ever cheated on my, that would be the end, guaranteed. I couldn't handle something like that.

But hey, there are SOME decisions in life you have to make on your own, without the help of the vast array of knowledge of the people who dwell in the Pit.
#24
Just because you are with someone doesn't mean you won't be better with someone else. I know that sounds hypocritical and it can work both ways, but it can still all work out.

Yes ok, fine, these people are our safety net. But we've got to take the chance and see what would happen if we did get back together. Either I've just woken up or the world suddenly got very cynical.
Nothing really matters...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyGuitar
I'm only responsible for the Korean jizz...

I never thought I'd say those words.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alex_haeni
Bahah, i just got BUTSECKS to work.
#25
what you're doing doesn't sound like cheating to me, but I'd say get back together with her
#26
It'll probably not help in the end, that said, never done anything like it so I don't know.
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#27
I'm not even sure what's going on. You blended the line between the ex-girlfriend and the new girl so much that I can't tell what's going on.
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#28
If you would both rather be with each other then break up with the girl you're with now and get back together with your best friend. There's nothing wrong with that. However, a test relationship with your best friend while you're still with your current girlfriend... that's quite messed up.
#29
Quote by fudge65315
were so madly in love.

I'm willing to forgive the grammatical error since you're in love. Read that sentence (yours, not mine), and I think you just answered your question - or you're not actually in love. I'm not saying you aren't in love with the 'best friend' girl, but really, I can't stand to be away from my lover - if I was in a situation similar to your's I would go insane. Break up with the 'new girl' and go with love. I'm really surprised you even had to ask?

Quote by Dinkydaisy
end it with them and start a new relationship, or stay with them and don't.


Getting a little angry are we? Nah, I agree with you. Using people = bad bad bad

Quote by fudge65315

Yes ok, fine, these people are our safety net. But we've got to take the chance and see what would happen if we did get back together. Either I've just woken up or the world suddenly got very cynical.


You just woke up. How would you feel if someone used you in the same way you are using the newer girl? I think it's pretty disgusting, and the fact that you think it's all justafiable is too. Take responsibility for your actions, and think about this before you continue doing this to yourself and the 3 other people involved.

Would you care if the 'new' girl saw this thread? Would you, or have you, told her that she is your safety net?
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Last edited by iain4444 at Feb 14, 2007,
#32
Threadstarter, let me translate what your girlfriend has said.

Basically what is going on is that she isn't interested in you. She wants to have the freedom to see whoever she wants, but still wants to keep a relationship with you to fall back on when her other relationships fail. She wants to have her cake and eat it too.

Get out while you can. Screw your best friend if you have the guts.
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#34
Quote by GiantRaven
Well, at the very least they should break up with the people they're going out with...


Good advice. Keep that thought in mind and you'll avoid alot of relationship clusterfucks down the road.
#35
*Reads Poll*

BURN IN HELL!
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#36
hmmm.... i would conclude that you need to grow some balls and become a man..... you should kick yourself in your lack of balls for using someone like you are, and then you should read the posts from the people saying your "best friend" wants to have her cake and eat it too.
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#37
Its a tad harsh on the new person, just break up with her coz you blatantly dont really care, the best kinda break from a relationship is one where you dont actually go out with anyone
because i said so.
#39
Break up with the new girl if you like your old girlfriend that much. Don't cheat. You could ask the new girl if it would be okay if you two didn't have to be exclusive, but I wouldn't count on her agreeing.
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#40
Quote by franmusc
If you had such a beautiful, amazing relationship.. why did you agree to be with other people?


i know i'm kinda crap at this, n i dnt usually get all the details out when ii shud, but were most likely goin to diffrent colleges soon. we are gonna meet other people, i know that. i dunno.

im just scared i guess. she is too. its like boy meets world all over again.
Nothing really matters...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyGuitar
I'm only responsible for the Korean jizz...

I never thought I'd say those words.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alex_haeni
Bahah, i just got BUTSECKS to work.