#1
For lack of a better title, this is basically how I feel about the holiday that just so happens to fall on... (checks calendar)... today.

Anyway. Read this. Praise it/bash it/express your utter indifference to it.
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What is Valentine's Day
But a culmination of all the clichés used in supposedly conveying love
It's like, "I love you so much, so I'll buy you chocolates
You can stuff your face and get fat but I'll love you anyway"
Or "Here you go, have twelve roses
They'll die within a week, and that's probably how long we'll last anyway"

I would go so far as to say that this ridiculous display
Of affection used by lovers today is not exactly my forte
I simply think it's juvenile, but maybe there's a reason for it
Could it be because of the fact that I have no one to share it with?

Could it be that I'm so sick of being all by myself
Everyone's out affectionating while I'm stuck on my shelf
They've all got their equal parts, and I'm left all alone
Lethargically watching chick flicks, eating hoards of Rocky Road

It's a pitiful demonstration of my cynicism in love

If only life could be like a romantic comedy
You're walking through the park and oh so suddenly
You run face-to-face into the man-slash-girl of your dreams
And everything seems perfect as you make out in the final scene

As if things could really be that way, it's quite ridiculous
Why doesn't someone make a movie that pertains to the rest of us?
Finding love isn't that simple, at least it's not for me
Perhaps it's simply because I'm too dadgum picky
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#2
100% with you buddy. I like how you make good points and express a kind of indecision rather than rely on saying "V-day sucks" like so many others do...
#4
im not sure if you mean for this to be a poem or if i'ts just and organized rant, but as a poem it simply doesn't work, there's little to no flow in mostly all of the piece and some of the words you use, particularly, "dadgum" just don't really roll of the tounge and genrally detract, at least in my opinion, from the feel of the whole thing, which i'm guessing is supposed to be like a cynical, lonely, bitter, and heartbroken person. so if you are actually trying to get this in order as a poem, which i'm not sure if you are, just start out by working on your flow and try to use some more carefully chosen vocab. that could more effectivly portray the feel of the piece.

crit mine please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=525254
Old king cole was a merry old soul, a merry old soul was he.
He called for his pipe, and he called for his bowl( ****ing stoner)
and he called information for numbers he could have easily looked up in the phone book.
#5
Quote by Dumpweedrock
im not sure if you mean for this to be a poem or if i'ts just and organized rant, but as a poem it simply doesn't work, there's little to no flow in mostly all of the piece and some of the words you use, particularly, "dadgum" just don't really roll of the tounge and genrally detract, at least in my opinion, from the feel of the whole thing, which i'm guessing is supposed to be like a cynical, lonely, bitter, and heartbroken person. so if you are actually trying to get this in order as a poem, which i'm not sure if you are, just start out by working on your flow and try to use some more carefully chosen vocab. that could more effectivly portray the feel of the piece.

crit mine please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=525254


Yeah, well. It's supposed to be a song. I meant to clarify that the first part is supposed to be spoken, and then the rest is sung. That might've helped.

As for the "dadgum" part - I mainly put that in there because I needed a two-syllable word conveying anger of sorts, but I didn't want to curse.

But anyway. Thank you.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.
#7
Quote by Jammydude44
I think god damn would work much better than dadgum, whatever that is sposed to mean

That's just it. I hate that word. I wanted to have a two-syllable "angry" word in there, but I'm a prude and I don't like to use foul language. Heh.
There's only one girl in the world for you
and she probably lives in Tahiti.