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#1
what are the best/worst pick-up lines youve ever heard?

the worst ive ever heard is 'is there a mirror in your pants? because i can see myself in them."
jeezus. any guy who uses that is jsut getting a slap across the face.

any bad ones that have been used on you/that youve heard? discuss.
The only truly consistent people are dead people.

#4
wanna ****?
Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

Quote by saphrax
I agree with This End Up
#5
'My search function is HUGE'
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#6
Hey, you're comin' here a lot?
Is your father a gardener? I wonder how he got such a nice flower
[translated from hebrew]
strat player forever.
#7
my friend actualy uses this after a couple of red bull n vodkas -

"Hey, slag, you WILL suck **** the night" (puts hand down jeans)


and it ussualy works...
Land of my high endeavor,
Land of the shining river,
Land of my heart forever,
Scotland the brave
#8
"Do you know why we're going to have sex tonite? Because I'm stronger than you."

"Let's not turn this rape into a murder"

"Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?"

"Your eyes are like spanners-they make my nuts tighten"
#10
Most of them come from Judge John Deed.

"I declare you to be absolutely gorgeous!"

"I sentence you to dinner for two!"
#11
Quote by Ferdinandstrat
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Butttsecks?


No but i have heard:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You are hot,
And your friend is too.
Quote by jazkel24

Any bands you're trying to copy/sound like?
#14
Hello, I have an erection.
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#15
Achoo! ACHOO!!!! Excuse me, I'm allergic to beauty.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Shaniqua?

Let's do some math! Add your bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs, and let's multiply!
<Han> I love Hitler
#17
Hey, if you were a president you're be Babe-raham Lincoln.
Quote by SynGates7X

you are indeed mr. awesome.

Quote by Duane_Allman
eckmann88 you sir are a god.

Quote by SavageNights
Oh, you're so damn shallow, eckmann88. They have nice boobs, don't they?

Quote by DraketheFake
good job eckman, seriously, that last one alone would give me an eternal erection!

Help
Space
#18
Quote by Hpda5121
No but i have heard:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You are hot,
And your friend is too.



*blush*

Will you be my valentine?
#19
Quote by denied
heard this one today. not funny.

i wish i was a derivative so i could lie tangent to your curves.


thats hilarious - i'd probably shit myself if i heard that in person, this is coming from a calc. student by the way - as far as being used on a chick... i sympathize, but thats a classy nerd that dropped that bomb
#20
I used this one on a ChaCha guide back when that first thread was still alive...whatever happened to UG's fascination with ChaCha anyway? Here's how it went (as best as i can remember)

Me: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? Just off the top of your head, like a ballpark figure?
Guide: No, sorry. I could look it up for you if you want.
Me: I know the answer.
Guide: Tell me, so we can compare data
Me: Just enough to break the ice!
Me: Hi, I'm Alex

Oldie, but a goodie. Not really.
#22
^That reminds me of Springsteen: You ain't a beauty, but you're alright, and that's alright with me. I always loved that song.
Quote by soccermom
Of course eating unbelievable amounts of anything can probably harm you, but i chose bananas because they look like willies.
#25
siong her this,

"be a littel doormatt here you sit, take off your clothes let me suck your tit, when i come ill pull out shove it in your mouth and when i ****in come dont you dare spit it out.."
Mail Goes here.

Musician for 14 years. Been inactive on UG since 2007. My have times changed. It's good to be back.
#26
Quote by eckmann88
Hey, if you were a president you're be Babe-raham Lincoln.


haha

Are you tired? Cause you've been runnin in my mind all day.
Cannibal Corpse


Quote by THE JEWISH AFRO
Good Golly Gosh!

nice sig...
#27
Hey baby, if looks could kill you would be the Ed Gein of beautiful.
BRIGHT LIGHTS PUT ME IN A TRANCE.
but it aint house music that makes me want to dance.
#29
Right here we go...

"Do you work in the post office? 'Cause I couldn't help noticing you checking out my package."

"I find the most erotic part of the woman to be the boobies."

"That's a nice dress. It'd look better on my floor."

"Ever fancied a threesome with a midget?"

"My mate over there told me you were easy and desperate for a shag. Interested?"

"Fancy a shag? Or do I have to get you more drunk first?"

I could go on.
Yes. It's a sig. Get over it.

www.myspace.com/maddo69

Yes. It's my rig. Get over it.
Ibanez Apex 2.
ESP F-100FM.
Tanglewood Odyssey.
Boss GT-8 Guitar Effects Pedal.
Marshall MG100HDFX w/ AVT412X cab.
#34
Every single time a guy goes:
'So, where's your boyfriend?'
To which a girl will reply:
'I haven't got one'
And what follows:
'Ah, what? Why hasn't a pretty thing like you got a boyfriend?'

I usually say because I'm a lesbian and they walk away.
The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give.
Calm, calm me more; nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

-Matthew Arnold

Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
#35
are you an angel because i have an erection
[22:33] ben: Yesterday I was gonna eat a shitload of candy but I forgot.
#36
Roses are red
I hate mutton
next time you think about making a thread
use the fucking search button

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#37
Quote by Dinkydaisy
Every single time a guy goes:
'So, where's your boyfriend?'
To which a girl will reply:
'I haven't got one'
And what follows:
'Ah, what? Why hasn't a pretty thing like you got a boyfriend?'

I usually say because I'm a lesbian and they walk away.


Girls have asked me that a lot of times. Then they're disappointed when they learn that I'm only 18 and I'm younger than them.
#38
Quote by eckmann88
Hey, if you were a president you're be Babe-raham Lincoln.


wayne's world ftw.

here goes:
are you drunk enough to come home with me?
This is my signature. There are many like it but this one is MINE.
#39
*Lure her into alley*
"Hey Test my Crow bar(any blunt instrument used to knock her unconsicious may apply)"
#40
Alot of people I know if they walk past a gang of girls just say "any numbers?" to know one in particular, on the off chance there sluts, they more than often are
Tears in waves, minds on fire
Nights alone by your side
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