#1
I wrote this song yesterday with the drummer from my band "The Fiends."

I've never really written a pop punk song before but,it seems pretty catchy to me.
I'll probably add a bridge solo and outro solo and maybe a melody on the choruses.
I don't really know if it needs it though because the bass line on the chorus seems to be suitable enough to not need one.

So be honest with your crits and share your thoughts.

Thanks.


Pop Punk Song
Quote by lol2theworld
I was about to diss kornflipsk8er, but then i realized hes an 03er and im an 09er.
I am inferior to him.


Quote by metalh3ad88
I am fairly certain that kornflipsk8er is GOD!!!11!!!!1!!
#2
WOW i really really enjoyed this
its like really good, I like the intro riff and the ?verse riff? and how they are very melodic and compliment eachother almost in a metal kinda way but its not metal

quality is pretty dang good, and drums are really nice...what did u use for those?

i like the little stops that happen every once and a while for a split second, and i like the breakdown taht gets all crazty and dark and then gets happy again for the end chorus
UG MISSILE BASE
Fight for the cause!

Quote by RMC06
Donkeyman2341, you are my new god!
#3
Well....I wasn't expecting that.Thanks man.That made my day.The drums are MIDI.The only time I ever record real drums is when I go to the studio for an Ep or album or what have you.

Do you have anything you would like comments on?
Quote by lol2theworld
I was about to diss kornflipsk8er, but then i realized hes an 03er and im an 09er.
I am inferior to him.


Quote by metalh3ad88
I am fairly certain that kornflipsk8er is GOD!!!11!!!!1!!
#4
Thats really good, i like the riff can i ask how your doing that?
What guitar, amp effects are you using? Sounds really good!
A recent study shows that 8% of teenagers listen to nothing but music with guitars in it. Put this in your sig if you're one of the 92% who aren't close-minded morons.
#5
The verse riff is two guitars with one playing the lowers fifth to harmonise it.

The guitars and gear used where as follows.

Ibanez AX 7221 Seven string
Ibanez Gsa 60 six string
Fender Tom Delong Signature Stratocaster
ESP:LTD F-255 Five string bass

Roland Cube Guitar amp.


I used very little gain believe it or not and the only effects used was on the intro.

The Clean guitar has a chorus effect on it and the second guitar that comes in that just strums the chords has a suble echo on the last chord that rings out before the verse starts.


I also use some overdrive on the Bass.
Quote by lol2theworld
I was about to diss kornflipsk8er, but then i realized hes an 03er and im an 09er.
I am inferior to him.


Quote by metalh3ad88
I am fairly certain that kornflipsk8er is GOD!!!11!!!!1!!
#7
The clean intro is very very nice.

But there is audible mic hiss which stinks, but besides the hiss the quality is really good.

I think the drums should come up in the mix.

I think the riffs are little dissonant, and I don't think I like that for such a poppy song.

But the part when you go in to the rhythm with the quarter-stop in it kicks ass.

This song is screaming for vocals, add some nice singing onto it and repost it man.

Crit mine?

http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=525271
#9
Quote by anOnyMouSanIe
Yeah this is awesome. seriously. I love the little guitar parts. Quality is quite good as well. all you need to do is add vocals and this would be a really sweet song. but be careful with who you let sing though. it could easily be ruined with some whiney sounding halfway on key singer.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=526019



I might use this song in my band and my singer is in no way whiney thank jebus.Now...Off to crit yours.
Quote by lol2theworld
I was about to diss kornflipsk8er, but then i realized hes an 03er and im an 09er.
I am inferior to him.


Quote by metalh3ad88
I am fairly certain that kornflipsk8er is GOD!!!11!!!!1!!
#10
I agree with the guy who said the drums should come up. I actually don't like the "harmonized" guitar lead it gets a little old after a while. This intro is also way too long.

Nevermind about the long intro.. i just realized there are no vocals in the track.. so I'm going to turn it off now.
I was once heavily prominent on these forums from 2004-2007, let's see how long I can stay now that I'm back.