Poll: I'm going Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs?
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View poll results: I'm going Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs?
this king of machines.
5 38%
"A Memory in Real Time"
3 23%
I Have Kissed Bayonets.
5 38%
Voters: 13.
#1
this king of machines.

this king of machines,
wed seventeen times to the cobblestone streets,
wrapped his pedigree wounds in saline tourniquets.
his crutch of snakes,
lips split with somnolence, lowered him into his grave.
an eighteenth skeletal angel eclipsed these failed ribs.
her aura sentenced the crow's feet to the gallows.
perforated, she would still outshine the brightest of purples.

when she opened her mouth, her words would slide out
through her lips like ribbons,
and they'd suture stiletto wounds in his anaemic lungs.
derailed by whispers, he would speak in anagrams:
disguised as a cypher, his words would read:
"i'm in love."

this king of machines
severed seventeen nooses with the guillotine.
but she faltered; trees grabbed at her ankles and lashed at her throat.
this one-eyed serpent,
restless in malachite, she breathed like a cavalcade;
her marbled desires had turned themselves into forked tongues,
and for this, she sentenced herself to the gallows.
her womb became unshackled once again, and she was free.

and the crows would peck at the hole in her neck
until she fell to ribbons,
and they'd syphon the warmth from inside his anaemic lungs.
her atonement proved lachrymal, and he wept cryptography.
his tears were deciphered, and they read:
"i'm in love."

this king of machines
wed eighteen times to the guillotine.
the dagger became a source of escape,
and he whispered his last words to its blade:
"i'm in love."



"A Memory in Real Time"

She's sitting two feet away.
I catch a glance at the K
that she burnt into her hand.
She says she did it so she
could never forget me.

Without her the weeks
are nothing more than a blur
but that's probably because
nothing significant occurs.


When I recall the moments she's with me
I remember every word, every movement,
and every second between them.
For some reason I can't do that
with any other segment of time.


Her wanting me to be
burnt into her memory,
let's me know that
she must really love me

Weird thing about the scar
is if you look at it the right way
it looks like a heart.



I Have Kissed Bayonets.

There is something incredibly appealing about cigarettes. I can't really explain it, but whenever I see someone leave a restaurant to take a smoke, I feel like they're superior to me. Anyone that can use a product that has a huge label warning that said product causes lung cancer (subsequently leading to death) and still uses it has balls. I mean, he's a badass. There's a social aspect to it, as well. I don't smoke, I'd never think about smoking, but even I know the rule: If you have a lighter, and are letting someone bum a smoke off of you, you light theirs first. However, if you're using a match, you light yours first, because there's a ton of sulfur and shit coming off that match, and you inhale it rather than them. It's almost romantic. I'd light a match and light mine first. At first she might think I'm rude, but I'd explain it to her, and she would thank me for being so thoughtful. And we would both die on the same deathbed, making love like cigarettes. And I take one final drag, and extinguish myself in a brunette ashtray.
Last edited by punchupatatigge at Feb 14, 2007,
#2
i like 'a memory in real time'
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_('') aww


RATM_Rocha wrote:

I hate Gun"n"roses and i hate velvet revolver, there emo music, ew.


^ lmao wat a retard ^


Plan-C page
#3
Damn, these were all really good. I can't decide.

EDIT: This King Of Machines
Quote by Cal UK
Alk hit the nail on the head there.
Last edited by Alk 3 addict at Feb 14, 2007,
#6
hey i know this is REALLY stupid,
but can you put a space in between
my title and the start of my piece?

hahah sorry it's just bugging me.
i feel so OCD right now. haha.

anyways. i'd have to say... three

I just want to sleep forever.


#8
Damn tough choice. 1 really gets my mind going, the whole story is brilliant, 2 I still like the first piece of Kyles in a while, and 3 is also a very original piece. Damn....1 by a whisker.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#11
^Yeah I was getting all cofused on who the comments were directed at,now I know.

I wrote the second piece, it's probably one the best pieces I've written imo, cause it's very special to me.
Last edited by stratkat at Feb 15, 2007,
#15
no fair

i voted for you but you didn't vote!
you don't get to vote for yourself!

I just want to sleep forever.


#16
Quote by Grovermans
no fair

i voted for you but you didn't vote!
you don't get to vote for yourself!


Haha. I was kidding.

I actually meant to vote, but couldn't decide...

I'd like to compliment EVERYONE in this comp. though. Every piece I read was great, and I think this is one of the better competitions we've ever had. Good work everyone.
#20
well the poll is closed. so either host a little tie-breaker or let them both advance. My votes for the second. then we have a sort of battle royal 5-way melee to determine the champ...
#22
Blug.

I should have voted. While I have Kissed Bayonets was an utterly amazing short story, it's relevance to the heart was very limited. If it matters, i would have voted for the king of machines and broken the tie :/

Sorry.
#23
okay, basically, people who haven't voted, vote here in post form.

only votes below this post will count, so if you voted a post ago, vote again. i'll just keep a running count. this will last 12 hours, so at around midnight tonight or until i post again saying its over (assuming i forget by midnight).

dont vote if you've already voted in the poll.
#25
Quote by punchupatatigge
okay, basically, people who haven't voted, vote here in post form.

only votes below this post will count, so if you voted a post ago, vote again. i'll just keep a running count. this will last 12 hours, so at around midnight tonight or until i post again saying its over (assuming i forget by midnight).

dont vote if you've already voted in the poll.


Okay, I had a longer post but it didn't go through.

It probably came off as dick-ish anyway, so I'll keep it short:

Make a new, tie-breaker poll. Let it run for like a day or something. It's a lot more organized. (Only Bayonets and King of Machines is in it, obviously.)

I'd like to remind everyone, the object of this comp. was ROMANTICISM... not love, nor 'the heart'. I don't even know what writing about 'the heart' would be like... "You pump blood, through my body. You make me able to go potty.?" Perhaps...
Last edited by Retribution at Feb 20, 2007,
#27
love is most definitely included in romanticism, as that was most definitely a focus of the era. granted, the era was mostly focused on human to nature interaction rather than human to human, love is most definitely an allowed topic.

bayonets.
#28
Quote by punchupatatigge
love is most definitely included in romanticism, as that was most definitely a focus of the era. granted, the era was mostly focused on human to nature interaction rather than human to human, love is most definitely an allowed topic.

bayonets.


No, no, no. You misunderstood me. I wasn't saying love WASN'T included, I just didn't want people to discriminate against my piece solely beause it doesn't focus on love/Valentine's, per se. I mean, in my opinion smoking is as romantic as a king, but maybe not.

However, I'm kind of flattered if anyone didn't vote for me solely because of the topic.
#29
i doubt they did. since only three people voted, more time.

so far, two for king of machines, one for bayonets.
#30
hahah... i think we were lucky to get three votes...
i don't think we're going to get much more than this.

I just want to sleep forever.


#32
i love how you edit like. ALL your
posts right after you make them.

i get an email saying your response in it,
and then i go to the page and see you've
written something completely different there.

it's funny

I just want to sleep forever.


#33
Quote by Grovermans
i love how you edit like. ALL your
posts right after you make them.

i get an email saying your response in it,
and then i go to the page and see you've
written something completely different there.

it's funny


I change my mind a lot, and lately I've come to realize people think I'm an asshole...

I typically say something stupid/potentially offensive and then change it.

But yeah, I edit all my posts. haha.

(I won't touch this one.)
#34
haha yeah i notice you always change it to
something nicer than what you originally had.

I just want to sleep forever.


#36
Quote by Grovermans
haha yeah i notice you always change it to
something nicer than what you originally had.


I feel bad...

I don't intend to come across as mean though, it just happens. Apparently(I've been told this recently.) I do it in real life too...

Cynicism is the best way to live life... right?
#37
you are an asshole retribution. its widely known and accepted by the general population of sweden.

**** it man, its just a comp, i'll put both through.
#38
Quote by Retribution
I feel bad...

I don't intend to come across as mean though, it just happens. Apparently(I've been told this recently.) I do it in real life too...

Cynicism is the best way to live life... right?

if only you could edit real life

I just want to sleep forever.