#1
This is lyrics to an acoustic song, the guitar is kinda power metal style, most people ive showed it to said it reminded them of lord of the rings or something like that. would be greatful if u crit it, id crit your lyrics or song or wateva if u want, just leave a link. and if u leave a proper review kinda thing that would be sweet and ill give ur work a proper review. im not totally sure if this is gonna be it complete, but here it is anyway.


theres no lies in the skys,
the seasons follw by,
u follow those beasts like foes,
my scalet tree falls,
it falls,
and i flee from it all

the leafs hit the ground,
for the very first time,
they crumble with force,
in alliance they stand

they all stand calm,
tall on their feet,
waiting for the charge,
a thousand men with battle scars

get ready to battle,
once more, once more,
for ur king and your homeland,
lets ride

the rainbow drops land on our heads
from death we rise as rainbow men
the colours seen in the sky
now in our hands, the powers mine
just play
along
just play
along
go play
#2
theres no lies in the skys,
the seasons follw by,
u follow those beasts like foes,
my scalet tree falls,
it falls,
and i flee from it all

i like this stanza but i don't really like the use of foes, i mean i know why you've done it but to me it doesn't really fit in well

the leafs hit the ground,
for the very first time,
they crumble with force,
in alliance they stand

ok it should be leaves. as that is the plural of leaf and secondly there is no rhyming pattern to this stanza unlike the previous one

they all stand calm,
tall on their feet,
waiting for the charge,
a thousand men with battle scars

nice..agian no rhymes

get ready to battle,
once more, once more,
for ur king and your homeland,
lets ride

ok for lyrics..don't use shorthand like ur... full words! hahaha i love the line lets ride, but thats cos its my motto lol...anyways no rhymes again..

the rainbow drops land on our heads
from death we rise as rainbow men
the colours seen in the sky
now in our hands, the powers mine
just play
along
just play
along
go play

dude...this last stanza......??????....rainbow men? ok the idea could be good but the rainbow and playing really screwed up this last stanza

overall i liked the whole song.......but that last stanza really screwed it up for me..i know its intent...but it makes the whole song sound really pansy like...well thats my 2 cents worth
feel free to crit my songs!
Snyper