#1
Wanting to break free
Out of this cell I've created
Locked in without a key
My heart feels lacerated

My blood and guts spilled so many times
Just wanting to die
All I do is come up with these stupid rhymes
wondering if you'll ever find the heart to cry

Seeing all that we've been through
All the struggles
All the obstacles we've helped each other do
I just wish you knew...

Crawling back inside myself again
I see your face when I close my eyes
Makes me wish I could've told you again
Making this a well known surprise

Wanting to stay in this dream
Where we're both together
On the edge of this cliff my hopes and dreams lean
But it falls due to bad weather

The air pushing back my hair
Passed these stones and ridges
All cause you couldn't even care
You left my heart in stitches

The ground approaches
But this I will embrace
This is the end
This is my escape...
#2
this song flows well but is too cliche. I realize it's impossible not to be cliche when it comes to love songs, but one approach you might wanna take is writing the song in a story form, instead of a confessional form.
#4
I think this would actually work pretty well for a song. but the second verse I don't like at all. blood and guts...wanting to die. its just sort of "ehh." I think it takes away from the rest of the song. Also I realize you are following a rhyme scheme so instead of saying "again" twice you could change it to..."Makes me wish I could've told you instead" or something. All in all its okay. It is full of overused ideas but that doesn't mean it would be a bad song. I mean its relatable.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=526054