#1
I wrote this literally 5 minutes ago, i'm in college and meant to be doing work but I thought **** it, let's write. This is based on watching days pass by. just feeling emotionless, and all you notice are the sad things that happen.



Harder To Escape

We sit still all day, we work all day
Yet the world seems so frantic, so fast
If I could just escape from me for just a day
I would take out all my anger and eliminate
Everytime they faked an apology.

Settled by a screen creating emotional scenes
Always seems to unsettle these daydreams
No happy face, no cheer for joy
Only tears trickling down the mirror
From the eye of humanity

(chorus)
Every day I take to the street
Every time me and conscience meets
No smile can they bear
Or do they ever dare?
No sense of hope, does anyone really care?

Right here right now, over the border
It all stays the same, labour work orders
With the sunrise of day or setting of night
No compromises just broken promises
That maybe we’ll make a change

(chorus)

(bridge)
Each day I lay
I think the same
Each day I lay
They never came
To meet me at the end
To turn and walk away.

(chorus)
Last edited by Adam_Harrison9 at Feb 15, 2007,
#2
I think it's brilliant, but on the contrary to what you said (it feels weird telling someone about their own work, so remember it's just my interpretation), this song seems the opposite of emotionless. True you give the impression of being detached very well, but there are some lines which to me show a great deal of emotion:
"I would take out all my anger and eliminate
Everytime they faked an apology."
and:
"No happy face, no cheer for joy
Only tears trickling down the mirror
From the eye of humanity"

Anyhow, I thought it was great.
#3
(chorus)
Every day I take to the street
Every time me and conscience meets
Another disgruntled witch
Or another wretched old mess
No smile can they bear
Or do they ever dare?

that is the only thing that bugged me the chorus, i just don't like lines 3 and 4. Maybe the chorus would be good without those two lines completely. But i don't wanna prance all over your song structure.

As a whole the rest of it is strong and I like the flow, nice work man
Quote by dann_blood
Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton. I heard that and set me off on a destructive rampage for weeks.


Quote by FearTheD
i want him to ride his magical roll of USPS stickers to Valhalla
#5
Quick alteration but it really flows a lot better with the song in my eyes. The other lines were kinda a little sleezey (sp?) if you know what I mean. All in all though good stuff and lol at your sig haha.
Quote by dann_blood
Stars are Blind - Paris Hilton. I heard that and set me off on a destructive rampage for weeks.


Quote by FearTheD
i want him to ride his magical roll of USPS stickers to Valhalla
#6
very very good. i like the message, the line that says settled by a screen that creates emotional scenes relates to the whole song great, that is probably my fav line
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