pete07
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2007
395 IQ
#1
hi all, new tune i wrote for my band. Been writing like crazy for the last few weeks to warrant recording anything. The idea behind this song is to have something strong and powerful to open any shows/demos we record and get some good mosh pits going. Lyrics should be coming soon. Any crits and comments are welcome!
Attachments:
Prayers in the Abscence of Purity.zip
saddam
Carcass
Join date: Apr 2003
1,808 IQ
#2
Really great song, although it's more metalcore-ish than metal... . The riffs were very cool, except for the one in bars 51-66, it was just too clichéd... . I also have the feeling that it really needs a solo, just to spice things up a bit.
Overall: 8/10, minus the one riff and plus solo: 9/10

thx for critting mine!

grtz
duncang
Popular British sitcom
Join date: Sep 2005
4,442 IQ
#3
I still can't stand the sound on GP of two distortion guitars playing the same part. It just sounds really annoying.

I love the riff from bars 33 and 34.

You got a nice breakdown as well, though you could probably add a little diminished lick into it somewhere? That would sound great.

Another thing is that the riffs seem to really revolve around 4 or 5 notes, and it gets a little old. I'm sure that wouldn't matter much with vocals on it. The clean vocals part really doesn't work though, I can't imagine there being cleans over that, and I had a sound in my head of what it could be like, but it carried on like the rest of the song.

6.5/10

Crit mine please (click 'Music' in my sig)
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Pieceofmind019
Krisiun Freak
Join date: Feb 2006
233 IQ
#4
That was pretty good. Some of the riffs reminded me of Cannibal Corpse, and those that didnt reminded me of unearth. The only thing i can think of that would really make it much better is a kick ass guitar solo

great work 8.5/10
leo_p8
Registered User
Join date: Jun 2003
175 IQ
#5
That sounded far too Lamb of God-ish for me... to be honest, two of the riffs are basically revamped versions of Black Label riffs. I'm not accusing you of anything... you just might want to check that song out before putting this one out there.

Apart from that sour point, I thought the song had some very good ideas in it, but should be more varied as well as (I know, your a guitarist, but...) have some better drumming all through it. A solo would do a world of good, specially after the breakdown section.

Oh, and the last riff (the one that fades out) is off in your GP5, it sounds like 4/4, but is written for 8/4, I changed it while I listened to it, but liked the sound of it cut up in 4/4 like it is better than your intended 8/4 sounds... you might want to look into that.

Anyway... Overall good job, just... please, check out Lamb of God - Black Label before starting a show with this song.
pete07
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2007
395 IQ
#6
cheers for the comments everyone, im gonna try n get a solo down for it and change some riffs here and there. Leo_p8, i cant say i've heard black label before, which are the 2 riffs you're referring to? Because if they sound too alike i'll change them round somewhat.
Pure_Morning
Boo
Join date: Nov 2004
369 IQ
#7
It's good. Some harmonies and maybe a solo would definately improve this piece. You've got two guitars in this tab, so you may aswell use them to their full potential.
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TheDarkestNights
UG Addict
Join date: Oct 2005
3,034 IQ
#8
That's pretty good. I love the riffs in bars 33 and 91.

Do the 2 guitars ever play different things? I couldn't really tell. =/. I like your riffs, they remind me of the older Trivium stuff combined with an Anthrax type sound combined with Cannibal Corpse. Something familiar yet rather new at the same time.

I really enjoyed the percussion in this song, I felt it went well with your guitar parts.

The bass needs to stay in towards the end, without it I think the song loses a lot of the drive that makes it appeal.

But overall, nice work man. Definately needs a solo dude. 7/10, which will easily increase with a good solo thrown in.

If you get a minute, could you crit mine?


R E G G A E
pete07
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2007
395 IQ
#9
ok, i listened to what everyones been saying and done a few changes with the song, added a solo, some harmonies, bass and whatnot so here's the revised version

BTW, i will crit the songs of everyone who crits mine at some point, im just a little busy what with sorting out songs, recording etc. but i will crit them soon
Attachments:
PITAOP revised.zip