#1
This is more Of A Screaming Song....so you know....


Why at me?
This Voice in my head
There’s nothing more to be said
Begin with the dead
Respect.
Respect what I found
Respect what I know
Respect what’re told
Begin.
Begin with the pain
Begin in the way
Begin the next day
This is so much to say
Just leave it all away
Lets begin it now
Cause its so to be

Can not.
Can't listen to my head
Nothing more to be said
Cause it just wind up dead
Suspend.
Suspend with it now
Suspend till its gone
Suspend because its what I said
Let's Play
Let's play with your faith
Let's play it till is shame
Let's play till its pain
Lets live through this
Can not live with it!!
Start with the game
Begin the Pain!!!

Go!!!

Scream with me
Become the voice in my head
With everything said
But its still could be dead
Infect.
Infect what I found
Infect what I’m known
Respect what your told
Begin.
Begin with the sin
Begin what you’ve been
Begin with the pain that I was always in
This is so much to say
Just leave it all away
Lets begin it now
Cause its so to be


End..
#2
Wow, I'll be frank.

Too many repeats, too much forced rhyme...

This Voice in my head
There’s nothing more to be said
Begin with the dead


That last line is so forced. It carries no weight in this segment of the piece.

Cause its so to be

That makes no sense. " 'Cause its going to be" perhaps.

Cause it just wind up dead

Tense issue, "wind" should be wound or " it will wind up dead".

Yeah you get the idea, I'd advise you take more time to look over things. Check the grammar before you post too. This is you presenting yourself after all, if you take the time, others will too.

Theres a piece in my sig if you wouldn't mind.

peACE
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#3
i think this song is great!! nice job man, its like p.o.d. !! well thats how i read it, rappish lol but damn man thats good stuf!! thats like totallly hit material. an its like very original, i havent even heard thi i just read it, an i loev it lol, i wonder wat it sounds like.. DAM..very nice man verryyy ncie!!