#1
I think this is the best one I've done yet, but I could just be really tired and judgment-impaired at the moment, too. When I wrote it I was listening to a lot of Uncle Tupelo (the band Jeff Tweedy was in before he formed Wilco). Crit4crit.

Autopilot

Verse:
Just another morning, wake up
Hopin' I still feel the same
Just another day, get up
Come to grips with the man in the frame
Once again, go out
Big world wants me to succumb
Well I think I need a new drug
What it takes to feel numb

Chorus:

Put me on autopilot
Let me glide through peaceful skies
I just want to lay back
I just want to shut my eyes

Verse:
It seems like everything around me
Is crashing like planes into the sea
Just the fact that we still fly
Is a miracle to me
Nose is down, engines burn
We're in a tail spin
With turbulence like this
I don't ever wanna think again

(Chorus)

Bridge:
Parachuttes tell you lies
And say everythings alright
What you don't know, will stay the same
You can float away the night

(Solo)

(Chorus)
Last edited by Devil_Duck at Feb 16, 2007,
#2
You're not judgment-impaired, it's really good.

The only bit I didn't like was the beginning:
Just another morning, wake up
Hopin' I still feel the same
Just another day, get up

From this point onwards it was great. I just think putting stuff as bland as 'I wake up', and 'I get up' into a song is a bad idea. I could see where you were coming from with the 'Hopin' I still feel the same' though. That bit's alright, and also I would keep it in there because it rhymes with the 'Man in the frame' part.

One other thing: Parachutes, not parachuttes.

Apart from that, I loved it. The second verse was particularly fantastic. Personally, I would've made the title of the song 'Tailspin', after that part of the song.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


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#4
yeah at first it was giving me the vibe of being a country song. an intelligent one but country nonetheless which i don't really like. after that it does improve greatly. i really like the idea you're trying to get across in the chorus. i think everyone has felt that way before so its completely relatable while being well written at the same time. the second verse surpasses the first and loses the whole country mood. i think its just the way the first one read all choppy. i think it would be awesome in the song if the "You can float away the night" line was sort of repeated or echoed. overall i really liked this.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=527098
#6
Quote by FretJAMMER777
I thought it was good. I had backround music in my head. It was sorta like Fleetwood Mac


I hadn't thought of that, but once you say it that sounds fair enough.
#7
The song is Pretty good.....And makes me wanna go back on a plane, lol

And yeah The Background Music I Could Hear Fleetwood Mac.

9.0/10
#8
Quote by *Thundernation*
The song is Pretty good.....And makes me wanna go back on a plane, lol
9.0/10


Ironically, I never flown.
#9
Ironically, I never flown.


Really? Its Pretty Fun
And really Small Space in the Rest Room, lol

you Should Check my song

It's Called "Coming Down"
#10
Its good. I really like the chorus, its catchy and it flows nicely.


Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at he ground and miss.

This world needs more Dallas Friday's!
#11
2 words, chorus flows

can you critic my songs?
My Music
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