#1
I had a little fun with this one. let me know what you guys think

Break down the obvious
Here comes the cryptic
We are alive and well
And even better before

Flash the opening credits
The curtains fall
There are people to be named
And places to see

Oh! But don't forget about him
He's quite the go-getter
And she is his ace
His lady luck in combat

Bust through the open door
As true talent takes its flight
The stars shine so bright tonight
We are a million miles out of the box

Take this and call it what you want
We have what it takes
To fill the hungriest lover
Satisfy the hardest critic

Bust through the open door
As true talent takes its flight
The stars shine so bright tonight
We are a million miles out of the box

Come see the opening scene
And enjoy sweet memories
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint
#2
sounds like something you'd hear from, killers lol. but its not bad, i like the course, or chours or wat ever its spelled. Shine so bright tonight fits smoothly. i think that the chours was the best part of the song.
#3
i think its all really good, it flows well, the verses could be longer but fine how they are
booo.....


did i scare you???
#4
yeah i thought the verses were a bit short when i wrote them.

thanks for the comments guys
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint
#6
thanks man
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint
#7
i did a second draft

The Open Door

Now it’s time to break down the obvious
Make some room for the cleverly cryptic
Young like the early morning hours
Alive and well and even better before

Flash the opening credits on the screen
The setting grabs you like an incident obscene
There are people to be named
Not to mention places to see

Oh! But don't forget about him
I hear he is quite the go-getter
She is the one, his lone ace
His only lady luck in combat

Bust through the open door
As true talent takes its flight
The stars shine so bright tonight
We are a million miles out of the box

Take this and call it what you want
We have what it takes
To fill the hungriest lover
To Satisfy the hardest critic

Bust through the open door
As true talent takes its flight
The stars shine so bright tonight
We are a million miles out of the box
Room For Error

Shows
6.30.05: 3 Doors Down, Staind, Breaking Benjamin
9.22.05: Disturbed, Ill Nino, 10 Years
4.1.06: Sevendust, Nonpoint
10.2.06: Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Mars Volta
11.21.06: Disturbed, Stone Sour, Flyleaf, Nonpoint