#1
Ok People....This is My First "Heavy" type Rock Song here
The Chorus is Of Course, Yelled.
And Yeah, Crit4crit



Here is the time to become what you are
Here is the time to hurt nothing but me
When you see me Walking down
Better become something more than now

[Chorus::]
SOMEBODY PRAY FOR ME
THIS IS MORE THAN I COULD SAY
MAKE LOVE LOOK LIKE PAIN
SOMBODY TAKE THIS AWAY
AND KEEP ME FROM FADEING
QUIT LEADING ME ON
AND TELL ME WHY IT’S THIS WAY
SOMEONE
KEEP ME FROM COMING DOWN

We’ll, find way to keep me high
Look for the ways to keep you shy
Keep one hand on your mouth
The other from Shame
Trust the things I say is true
Now do what to... DO!!

[Chorus]

Speak about anything
Tell more lies than truth
Knowing more than you do
Spending more life on the edge
Making things look more bad than now
There’s no one to see you falling down

[Chorus]
#2
first verse reminds me of some kind of monster (metallica). i like the chorus, good job man.
Cream Schecter Ultra III
Black Epi Les Paul Studio
Hohner Red SG (yeah weird)
Breedlove Dreadnought acoustic
An old fender (unknown model)
A frankenstein strat (unknown model)
15w Vox Pathfinder
120w Crate Flexwave
#3
Hmm. There's really no direction I can point you in here, I dig it massively, and that's all I can say.
#4
Quote by insomniac28
first verse reminds me of some kind of monster (metallica). i like the chorus, good job man.


Well I Was Listening To Seether When I Wrote this song
#5
The first verse is a nice start and i think the chorus works but i don't like the "keep me from fading" line. people write about fading and being down all the time. i just think if you're already going to say "keep me from coming down" you don't need to say "keep me from fading" as well.

and this part confused me...
"Trust the things I say is true
Now do what to... DO!!"

i'm going to be picky and say to change is to are. "now do what to...DO!!" maybe i'm reading wrong but i don't know what you're trying to say.

overall i think the lyrics are sufficient enough to make for a good song.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=527098
#6
this songs really good..An alot of it i can relate to which is nice lol.
But i have to agree with the second crit, i dig this song an really cant think of a way to crit this u kno, i didnt have to read it alot either i just read it once anl iked it lol but ya its good man!! cheers!!