#1
relapse.


it started with the bruises
that crawled up your legs
and the sickness in the night
all meaning that it’s back again
to hurt your body.
bitter feelings in your head
returning with bad habits
that you can’t bear to part with.
adore the morphine in your iv
that you’ve fallen in love with again.
think about the easy way out
and flirt with thoughts of suicide.
the pain inside is far too much
for you - so young - to deal with.
so you push everyone away
because you know they'll only leave you
in your solemn hospital room
painted fourteen shades of grey,
alone with the mind numbing pain
that will only get worse
as you gaze at your empty iv
that they left you with
until they return.
until morning.



hey guys. this is just an idea that ive been toying with for awhile -- cancer relaspes. i dont know anyone who has suffered from cancer, but ive read alot about the symptoms of relaspe. correct me if im wrong.
c4c
darkangel322
The only truly consistent people are dead people.

#3
i liked what you wrote, do you have any music for it yet? Im new and what is that club "girls can play guitar too" i think i might be intrested in it. i've been playing for four years
#4
hey! awesome.
join the club. just put Member Number Three of the Girls Can Play Guitar Too!! club in your signature. itd be great to have you :P
anyway, glad you liked the song. i guess its not really a song. just a poem i guess. so no music. :P
hope to see more of you in the forums.

darkangel322
The only truly consistent people are dead people.

#5
goddamn spammer.
get offa my internet.
The only truly consistent people are dead people.

#6
it started with the bruises
that crawled up your legs
and the sickness in the night
all meaning that it’s back again
to hurt your body. to me, this gives me a mind image of exactly what yer sayin... like i picture bruises literally spreading up the persons legs and like a shadow creeping in the shadows... hahah like for the sickness in the night part
bitter feelings in your head
returning with bad habits
that you can’t bear to part with.i really like this line... its really what would happen i'd imagine.
adore the morphine in your iv
that you’ve fallen in love with again.when your write: "the morphine you've fallen in love with again", its a really good description... like its a verse that i would expect to hear from a mcr song or something... nice
think about the easy way out
and flirt with thoughts of suicide.
the pain inside is far too much
for you - so young - to deal with.once again, very good description. I like the "flirt with thoughts of suicide".. good figurative language girly;P
so you push everyone away
because you know they'll only leave you
in your solemn hospital room
painted fourteen shades of grey,
alone with the mind numbing pain
that will only get worse
as you gaze at your empty iv
that they left you withi also really like this because the fact that a cancer patient would probably feel abandoned and alone. I like how this song makes me feel like that patient... well not like the patient but it makes me feel what the patient would be feeling, ya know?
until they return.
until morning.the ending 2 lines kind of confuse me... do they fade away or something? maybe i would have to hear it in the song but reading the lyrics, i dont think they really fit in.



awesome work darkangel322... i really really like this song. its probably my favorite song you have written. I also admire that you reseached the topic so you could make the song just that much more realistic/addicting to read/listen to. I really want you to record this (i guess you should get a mic')) because i want to hear this song... so so badly love the song.. keep it up
Quote by MightyAl
Incest, the game the whole family can play. Now for ages 3+
#7
Quote by darkangel322
relapse.


it started with the bruises
that crawled up your legs
and the sickness in the night
This is a nice few lines, but one thing that kinda struck at me is the sickness part i mean, " and the sickness in the night " its awesome dont get me wrong ! lol its just its kinda..eh maybe u could add a few more words to that part u kno? just a suggestion lol
all meaning that it’s back again
to hurt your body.
bitter feelings in your head
returning with bad habits
that you can’t bear to part with.
adore the morphine in your iv
i like these lines the best lol hmm maybe instead of IV u could go with vains? eh just a thought sides that good work here! lol
that you’ve fallen in love with again.
think about the easy way out
and flirt with thoughts of suicide.
the pain inside is far too much
for you - so young - to deal with.
so you push everyone away
because you know they'll only leave you
in your solemn hospital room
painted fourteen shades of grey,
alone with the mind numbing pain
that will only get worse
as you gaze at your empty iv
that they left you with
until they return.
I love the line about the fourteen sahdes of gray , lol an most of this is really good! nothing really to change,
until morning.



hey guys. this is just an idea that ive been toying with for awhile -- cancer relaspes. i dont know anyone who has suffered from cancer, but ive read alot about the symptoms of relaspe. correct me if im wrong.
c4c
darkangel322


This piece is very original, I like it ! lol