#1
Won't Go Back

anger i just cannot shake
laugh at what i can't erase
wrap the rope and pull it tight
lay me down and say good night
lay me down and say good night

(chorus)
you just dont f*cking understand
why i hate you, why i'm mad
i was here but now i'm gone
can't go back anymore
you never see me when i'm there
you don't listen when i'm scared
thought i loved you, i thought wrong
not going back anymore

hate that fills up these walls
will never catch me if i fall
wrap the rope and pull it tight
lay me down and say good night
lay me down and say good night

(chorus)

phone rings once, phone rings twice
bounce to voice mail, not all right
phone rings once, phone rings twice
bounce to voice mail, NOT ALL RIGHT

(chorus)


alright. thats it. the guitar for this song is written with heavy, heavy distortion. i can't see myself singing it (its kind of screamo :P), but idk. any crtique would be awesome.
c4c

darkangel322
The only truly consistent people are dead people.

#2
meh, there's nothing really wrong with it, just nothing that jumps out and catches my attention, and i duno if screamo is the best sound for it
An escalator can never break, it can only become temporarily stairs.
#4
Quote by darkangel322
Won't Go Back

anger i just cannot shake
laugh at what i can't erase
wrap the rope and pull it tight
lay me down and say good night
lay me down and say good night
An okay start,

(chorus)
you just dont f*cking understand
why i hate you, why i'm mad
i was here but now i'm gone
can't go back anymore
you never see me when i'm there
you don't listen when i'm scared
thought i loved you, i thought wrong
not going back anymore
Didnt like this much, Didnt flow well when i read it alound, but i did like the subtle rhymes (i dont know if this was intentional or not)

hate that fills up these walls
will never catch me if i fall i did like this, gave me an image of someone falling through a wall lol
wrap the rope and pull it tight
lay me down and say good night
lay me down and say good night

(chorus)

phone rings once, phone rings twice
bounce to voice mail, not all right
phone rings once, phone rings twice
bounce to voice mail, NOT ALL RIGHT
Didnt quite understand this.... Great chance to expand on it!!

(chorus)
darkangel322


Decent peice.
#5
thanks all.
this is supposed to be about the frustration of knowing your boyfriend is cheating on you, and not confronting them about it.
Greenguy= thats what the vioce mail things about. like, when you call, hes out with this other girl right? yeah. and the rhyming in the chorus was intentional. :P
anything i can crit for you?
The only truly consistent people are dead people.

#6
wow okay i get it now, it just got a lot better, like it was a 60 out of 100 lyrically now its like a 75, i couldn't figure out what it was about, so i'm like "am i supposed to be caring about somebody?"
and i like the odd flow of the chorus btw
An escalator can never break, it can only become temporarily stairs.
#7
I like this. the first verse is pretty interesting and i really like the last few lines. especially the "lay me down and say goodnight." The chorus is pretty simple but after reading the subject matter i think it captures the idea very well. i don't really like the "bounce to voicemail" I just can't picture that being sung/screamed without sounding silly. overall i think this is pretty good. if you don't think you can scream it you could tone it down to a sort of dark acoustic piece with the haunting kind of soft vocals. i think that would go well.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=527098
#8
Quote by darkangel322
Won't Go Back

anger i just cannot shake
laugh at what i can't erase
wrap the rope and pull it tight
lay me down and say good night
lay me down and say good night

i liked the 1st verse except reption of last 2 lines

change last line to lay me down and lets not fight . i mean to say alter it

(chorus)
you just dont f*cking understand
why i hate you, why i'm mad
i was here but now i'm gone
can't go back anymore
you never see me when i'm there
you don't listen when i'm scared
thought i loved you, i thought wrong
not going back anymore


chorud is ok flows gr8


hate that fills up these walls
will never catch me if i fall
wrap the rope and pull it tight
lay me down and say good night
lay me down and say good night


same as i feel about opening verse


(chorus)

phone rings once, phone rings twice
bounce to voice mail, not all right
phone rings once, phone rings twice
bounce to voice mail, NOT ALL RIGHT



wow line is good but maybe you can expand it instead of repeating it

(chorus)


alright. thats it. the guitar for this song is written with heavy, heavy distortion. i can't see myself singing it (its kind of screamo :P), but idk. any crtique would be awesome.
c4c

darkangel322


overall its good with gr8 flow but reprtition in sngs is what i am not fond of any way bst of luck with future songs
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