#1
Hello,

I love metal genre music and I tab my own songs I create while bored or anything. I'm only 15 so I have a lot of free time to tab songs. This is a song I'm working on since yesterday, and I've only done the intro. I just want to get some critics to see if I'm good at making my own songs, etc. Thank you.

*ALL NEW UPDATED VERSION WITH DRUMS*

Clicky

PS: Leave the link to you're own songs and I'll come and critic. If you do not give a link, I will not search by my own. No link = No critic.
Last edited by DarkTom666 at Feb 24, 2007,
#2
First of all, you may want to invest in a better way of recording. but production aside, it was an OK tune, kinda generic sounding (The Riff). wasn't a big fan of the solo over the top. But considering your only 15, you got lots of time to improve. Overall ill give it a 5/10--your playing was pretty good. As far as continuing to write music, do it because you like it, not if someone else says they dont like it. practice practice practice!

if you got time:
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=527029
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#3
Yep, I do want to invest in some recording stuff.. Pretty broke at the moment though. For the lead guitar, I don't want it to sound like a "solo" but more like an intro lead, if you understand. I do have lots of time to improve but I'm not playing guitar everyday because I use my free time to go play soccer or hockey with friends.

Thanks for the comment.
#6
sounds good...as the others have mentioned the production issues put me off a little...but i understand some of us don't have a full music studio at their disposal lol

but yeh, keep working on it man, if it keeps going like that it'll be an ace song

-rob
#7
Thanks, as for my recording equipment...it all resumes to...: headset with mic plugged in xD. Thinking of buying some equipment soon and I'm still working on the song. Hope to finish it soon o.O.

Thanks for the comment .
#8
:O I'm writting to slow I guess ..

As for the comment Rob, thanks alot really cheers me up xD. Yep I'm working on it right now.
#10
Hehe, yea I think I'mma check for another sound for that lead... I kinda finished tabbing my song, I don't know if I'll be able to fit vocals in it though.. I'm going to record it right now and I'll check if the lead/rythm guitar flows well with the rythm, if not I'll have to retab it xD..

Thanks for the comment
#11
Finally done! I made some mistakes on 2nd guit somewhere at the end because I was stressed -_- I'll try to fix it tomorrow and I hope you still enjoy it and sorry again for the poor quality

http://www.purevolume.com/darktom666

C4C don't forget, leave critics + your own songs!
#13
i dont know about 'blazing thunder', more like static shock. i guess it needs to be spiced up a bit, or maybe i just like a more obscure riffing style, other than that it was ok
#15
@Creative: As I said, I was pretty stressed and tired xD but yea I'll re-record it when I'll get new equipment....soon I hope .
@Beau: Static Shock o.O Ok lol, annyways, thanks for the comment
@Scot: I guess you already know I'll get some recording equipment soon xD. As for the drums, I don't have/can't find a good program for it. The only way I could put drums is with an old keyboard I have...but that would be horrible.

Thanks for comments guy, I really appreciate it.. I'll crit yours whenever I have time... gtg school now cya later.
#17
i really liked the intro, and the leads were really good, but the recrding i was a little iffy on but it still sounded good and it got the point acrossed

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#19
thanks alot for the comments guys^^.. Yea yea.. I really need to get better recording stuff and for Johanen, it does get pretty boring fast because I've only done the guitars... If I could get some lyrics and drums into it, I think it might be really better .. I need to work on my guitar skills and try to put a solo into it..

Thanks and keep the comments coming I'm starting to crit others right now.
#20
Wow.. finally did a good one I updated the song again. I recorded it with the Ibanez Prestige and Peavey XXX amp from my brother. He actually had a good mic -_- I hope you guys enjoy this version more than the other ones. For those who wants to know, no I didn't add drums nor vocals. 1. Me + singing = death of all of you. 2. I don't have/don't know someone who has a drum , and I can't find a good free program that runs drums. I tried Acoustica Beatcraft (I think it's wrote like that) and I don't understand a single thing... It's too complicated for me ;(, if anyone who can tell me how to work it or could try and make me a beat, that would be plain awesome. Anyways, hope you enjoy it.

You all know the link... if not: http://www.purevolume.com/darktom666

And don't forget, C4C! Leave crit + link to your songs! If not, no critic

Enjoy and good night!

PS: If you do want to participate in this project and make me a beat with drums, please PM me.
#21
Hey I just listened to it, I quite liked the rythm and lead riffs, but I thought they needed to be mixed better (that's just something you need to experiment with and learn over time, like me!).
I also think it needs something to break it up a little like a bridge and some sort of chorus.
Overall it's a good idea that's definately worth building on...ooh I just had an idea, how about doing doing some of those solo bits with two lead guitars at different pitches? That'd sound cool!
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#22
Hey I just listened to it, I quite liked the rythm and lead riffs, but I thought they needed to be mixed better (that's just something you need to experiment with and learn over time, like me!).

xD thanks, yea well it's my first time really writting a full song .

I also think it needs something to break it up a little like a bridge and some sort of chorus.

Well, the chorus is kinda the part where the guitars kinda slow down, if you understand what I mean o.o

Overall it's a good idea that's definately worth building on...ooh I just had an idea, how about doing doing some of those solo bits with two lead guitars at different pitches? That'd sound cool!

Thanks , but I don't really understand what you mean about the solo though =/.

Anyways, thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it.
#23
Aside from the background extra noise crap, this is a really nice recording tone! Your guitar sounds amazing, you can hear all the notes. The title is appropriate too lol. Sounds very heavy and crunching, yet at the same time sounds bright, upbeat, and able to pick someone up from the floor. I like it! 8.5/10
#24
Thanks for chipping in some criticism on my tunes. now for yours!

I agree with insideac about the background noise... not so nice. the good news is that that kinda stuff can be avoided. what software and hardware are you using to record this stuff? maybe i can give you some tips.

as for the actually song, the verse chord progression is not most original i've heard in the world (definitely very 'metal' though), but the bridge/chorus sound really nice.

I also agree with DownDirtyDog about your little lead parts that are scattered intermittently throughout the song. they would definitely sound cool if they were doubled, and done in harmony. If you're kind of confused about what we mean about that, listen to the Allman Brothers- they do it all the time. All you need to do is play the fifths of the original notes of the lead parts. Confused? Google it, theres all kinds of stuff out there about harmonies.

One thing that could really help out this song is if you tightened up the way you pick and your fret your notes. this takes practice. lots of it. its one of MY major flaws as well.

keep working at it, and you can probably turn this into a catchy little tune.
#25
Thanks for the comments, yea that background noise was like tripled before I started using my brother's mic (which is a bit better than mine).

As for AJG, I'm using Audacity O_O... Hahaha yeah it's not really original but I have to admit this is my first song ever and I just wanted it to sound metal. I agree, the chorus is nice.. I can't really say the part that you think it's a bridge is actually a bridge :S

I'm not really good about guitar terms and you really confused me about that "scattered lead parts" and those "fifths of the original notes of the lead parts"... I don't know if I should google it because I know I won't understand a thing O_O

Hahhaa I know my picking sucks I never learned to pick uhhh.. I don't know how it's called but up/down/up/down/up/down.. I try it sometimes and it just confuses me :P For now, I'm sticking with only downwards.. I think that's why I don't know how to play fast + my left hand fingers are not really fast neither and I don't use my pinky because it does bothers me alot..

Anyways, thanks guys
#26
up.down.up.down.up.down..... thats called alternate picking and if you really want to get good at the guitar, you're going to need to know it. it all comes with practice my friend.
#27
zomg alternate picking... forgot that name xD and yeah I need to practice it alot.. I'm trying to work out a solo for that song and I'm still searching for a drum program -_-
#28
I like the riff, and I don't think it's too generic as someone said. The galloping is cool. You might want to add drums just to stay in time well. I like the little runs between the chords, too. Good recording would make me want to listen to this more. Try getting a free drumbeat making program like hydrogen from the internet and then playing overtop of a beat you make. Bass/vox would also be cool. Good job though. Keep it up. Mind critting mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=522091
#29
Thanks a lot for the comment. I'm happy that you enjoy it. I'm still trying to find a drumbeat making program and I think I'll check hydrogen out. I don't have a bass though and my singing is awful but after I put in the drums, I'll try to write some lyrics.

Thank you^^. Going to crit yours right now
#31
Hehe thanks a lot I'm really happy that people enjoy it. I'm currently working on putting some drums in, Hydrogen is a nice program, thanks to guns.

Keep the comments coming.
#32
Hey man thanks for the crit so ill return it

To start off this is good for a 15 year old
but it just sounded too played out like I had already heard it before and its just too plain even with the lead
and the lead was the best part about it
just keep experimenting and playing around with ur notes on this one and I can already imagine it being that much better
im not gonna say it sucks because it sounds like u just began working on this so what im gonna say is keep working on it till it sounds better and u enjoy playing it and then other people will start feeling it
so until then good luck man and ill be keeping an ear out for ur shit in the future
#33
It sounds good so far, as others are saying work on the tone and it could be pretty good.

Here is my WIP:

http://media.putfile.com/WIP-song
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Line 6 Spider II

REMEMBER, ALL TONE IS SUBJECTIVE!
Last edited by SGStrummer61 at Feb 24, 2007,
#34
Hey thanks a lot for the comments guys.

@Ryan: You're saying you've already heard something like this somewhere? If so, could you tell me what because I've just pulled it straight out of my own brain and I don't know any song that might be sounding like it. And yes I just began working on this for about 5-6 days now?
@SG: Thanks dude. Yea I'll try to work on the tone

I've just finished to do my drumbeats with Hydrogene and I'll re-record the song on it tomorrow. 2h AM here and I'm pretty tired now xD. Good night and thanks again for the comments.
#35
I don't like the title, it's corny.

I think the intro in the lead sounds cool, think of maybe adding some delay to it.

The riff sounds pretty interesting.

If you add programmed drums to this you will have to rerecord the entire thing because you will have to play to the tempo of the drums.

I think you need a stronger distortion.

Overall pretty good start in a metal song, but of course it needs at least drums and then vocals.

Good job though!

BTW, I saw that you wrote that you don't like "screaming bands."

Just as a suggestion, check out any of the song's from Trivium's Ascendancy album, I think it could broaden your horizon.
#36
Hey, thanks for the comment Sorry that you don't likfe the title :P but in my opinion I thought it fit well.

Yea I know I'll have to rerecord the entire song and I might do it today or tomorrow.

I'll try to add disto then :P

Yea it does need drums and vocals but as I said in my early posts, me + singing = horrible xD and the drums will be added soon. Thanks

Nah, already listened to Trivium and I didn't like it sorry :P, the only song from them I like is "Dying in your arms". The only "screaming" band I can listen to must be In Flames and the song "Elegy" from As I Lay Dying, other than that, I just can't :P.
Last edited by DarkTom666 at Feb 24, 2007,
#38
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