#1
Quick little song I wrote awhile back. Just looking for some Constructive criticism.

How could I not have known,
That you thought of me so,
When you gave that look in your eye,
I should have realized,

But then again,
Why do you care?


Maybe next time I’ll see the signs,
Maybe next time I’ll realize,
Maybe next time I’ll realize how lucky I am to have you,

But then again,
Why do you care?


Next time I’ll get it right,
I’ll make sure it turns out alright,
Next time I won’t be so blind,
Out destinies were so intertwined,

But then again,
Why do you care?


It would seem that we should be,
That even a blind man could see,
But the moment has come and gone,
What was said was said and done,

But then again,
Why do you care?
Current Rig>>Jackson Phil Collin Signature Guitar/Ibanez Artcore>>>Modded Dunlop Crybaby>>>TS-9DXModded>>>Rat kit>>Octavia>>CE-20>>DD-7>>>Musicaman HD-120
#2
I really like the point of the song. Cliche rhyme scheme though but it works with the song.
#3
Thanks for the tip! I will look into better rhyming formats. Any other tips?
Current Rig>>Jackson Phil Collin Signature Guitar/Ibanez Artcore>>>Modded Dunlop Crybaby>>>TS-9DXModded>>>Rat kit>>Octavia>>CE-20>>DD-7>>>Musicaman HD-120