#1
PASSED LIFE

for sorrow's sake
lets keep remembering
days passed without you
passed regret

shouldn't this be better
or maybe it is
its only time left
but thats what life is

time left for regret?
or time left for tomorrow?
i don't think i'm ready to leave yet
but thats how life goes
the same way the sun sets
and the same way, like dominos
the same fragile effects
the same tomorrows

when will it come
the day i begin
the day i leave behind
this idle survival
when will it end
dissonance in decay
it has become an idol
my worshipping eyes set on the time
waiting to be flown away

for tomorrow's sake
remember me
i'm passed regret
passed remembering
because you are my one tomorrow

C4C (drop a link)
We're only strays.
#2
for sorrow's sake
lets keep remembering
days passed without you
passed regret
hm, simple, but nice, i got no problems with it

shouldn't this be better
or maybe it is
its only time left
but thats what life is
hm, this one confused me a little, i had to reread a few times to get the meaning and read it right

time left for regret?
or time left for tomorrow?
i don't think i'm ready to leave yet
but thats how life goes
the same way the sun sets
and the same way, like dominos
the same fragile effects
the same tomorrows
hm, mabe im losing my touch, but im not finding anything wrong...

when will it come
the day i begin
the day i leave behind
this idle survival
when will it end
dissonance in decay
it has become an idol
my worshipping eyes set on the time
waiting to be flown away
hm.... ok flown away sounds bit wierd, and the begining seemed a bit choppy, but thts probly just me

for tomorrow's sake
remember me
i'm passed regret
passed remembering
because you are my one tomorrow
hm, remembering sounds bit wierd to me, mabe rememberance? or is tht even a word?hm.....


hm, wow i did have any big problems with it, i like ur wording, simple but also effective, with some parts not so simple i like how u did like contradicting ideas in some parts of this, nice job


crit my newest( its not very good)
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=529216
#3
I dunno if you took it into account on your crit but just FYI (for future critters) the word "passed" is spelled that way for a reason. Its the past tense verb for passing by as opposed to "past," as in "the past few days." Its a play on words.
We're only strays.