#1
its a sad song chord changes Aminor c d Aminor and i need a third verse and a solo anyone got any ideas

when life, deals you cards
play em right, and youll get far
there wil be sorrow and there will be pain
there will be sunshine and there will be rain 1st verse
just remember, remember one thing
life will bring love and suffering

chorus

if you, would be mine
id turn back time
id turn back time repeat twice

verse 2

all these things that we have learned
youd think our troubles would finally burn
and i think, no i know i still love you
and if youll love me to ill put nothing above you
we, we can try this again
as lovers and as best friends, amen

repeat chorus twice
#2
when life, deals you cards
play em right, and youll get far
there wil be sorrow and there will be pain
there will be sunshine and there will be rain 1st verse
just remember, remember one thing
life will bring love and suffering
ok, sorrow and pain are the same thing, but sunshine and rain are opposites, so i dont get that, seems like rain is jsut there to rhyme

chorus

if you, would be mine
id turn back time
id turn back time repeat twice
seems waaaayyy to simple and short to repeat twice

verse 2

all these things that we have learned
youd think our troubles would finally burn
and i think, no i know i still love you
and if youll love me to ill put nothing above youi like the enternal rhyming, but its 'too'
we, we can try this again
as lovers and as best friends, amen
idk why the amen is there, but i like even tho it sounds forced.
repeat chorus twice


ok, the chorus is way to weak to work, thats my main problem with it, the rest is decent, add more to the chorus.

crit 'the echoes' if u could
#3
Just a few short comments.

A lot of this is pretty cliched. Sorrow and pain, love and suffering and the chorus is probably the most cliched of them all with the whole 'I'd turn back time for you' idea. More on the chorus - as Ragglefraggle said it's pretty weak. It'd be nice to see something with a little more emotion and thought to it. I strummed along to this and sang it how I imagined. One spot that sort of caught me up was in the second verse, the third line. "I think, no I know" just sounds a little awkward. It could be my interpretation though. I had the same problem with the "friends, amen" part. And found the repetition of 'we' in the fifth line to be a bit odd.

With the negatives I'll move to the positives. Rhyme scheme worked well throughout. Except for the jumbled spots I mentioned above I managed to sing and play through it pretty easily using the chords you mentioned, and it actually flowed pretty well. I like the first two lines of the last verse a lot, too.

Overall this could use some work but it has some potential. In the future try to relax a bit .. some of your rhymes seem forced. A little more emotional depth and a stronger chorus would have also helped this song. Good work! Keep on writing.

And if you have time, I'd appreciate your critique of "Paradise in Your Eyes" I have linked in my signature.