#1
I wrote this ages ago, but i thought id let the critisising world get a hold of it.
Be gentle lol!


We always come to regret our stupid mistakes
Made equal by a lifetime of lies
Ive been wasting all my time
Trying to find you
It was just the sound of whispers
and the essence of my overdramatics.

Paint my little world
with your bloody hands
the greatest masterpiece
the immortal image
of my swollen eyes and bloodied lip
My life.

Im simply confused
No one understands my little world
Its just me
And you
Together forever
In my timeless heart

Im just a silly little girl
With my silly little dreams
Nothing you could understand
Can i have permission to speak?
I just want you to leave
Strike this from the record.

Im going to paint my little world
With your dead bloodied hand
My greatest masterpiece
My image
Of your eyes and lip
Your life
And my overdramatics.
#3
Quote by IridiumBullet13
I wrote this ages ago, but i thought id let the critisising world get a hold of it.
Be gentle lol!


We always come to regret our stupid mistakes
Made equal by a lifetime of lies
Ive been wasting all my time
Trying to find you
It was just the sound of whispers
and the essence of my overdramatics.

L1,L6 's a bit forced. overdramatics hampers to flow a bit .rest is ok


Paint my little world
with your bloody hands
the greatest masterpiece
the immortal image
of my swollen eyes and bloodied lip
My life.


bolded part's not that gr8 srry

Im simply confused
No one understands my little world
Its just me
And you
Together forever
In my timeless heart

i tyhink u san add 1 more line here

Im just a silly little girl
With my silly little dreams
Nothing you could understand
Can i have permission to speak?
I just want you to leave
Strike this from the record.

bolded line is totally out of blue it can be much better like


i dont need ur permission to speak and last line is not that good

Im going to paint my little world
With your dead bloodied hand
My greatest masterpiece
My image
Of your eyes and lip
Your life
And my overdramatics.



overall not that bad or gr8 . with fixing some minor things it can do fine
i am srry if i was too harsh

here's a link for mine . feel free to crit it

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=534650
Hi