Anyone know any? Online isn't an option right now, and my searches aren't giving very fruitful results.
I've done that-- GC doesn't have any. Few local stores I found don't stock Ibanez.

My situation is that I have a relative who knows little to nothing about Guitars in VA right now (I'm Australian) and guitars are much, much, much cheaper there than there.
if you feel like driving the maryland, i know the one near me in rockville has a few in stock, but thats like an hour away depending where in NorVa you are
Ernie Ball Music Man Silhouette Special
Washburn WI64
Martin D-15
1960s Harmony
Rocktron/Egnater TOL 50 2x12
Rivera Chubster 55
Fulltone OCD v.1
Keeley TS808
Voodoo Labs Superfuzz
Wilson WH10
Boss DD-20