Of_Wolves
Silver Satellite Eyes
Join date: Feb 2007
718 IQ
#1
Here's something I've come up with... Personally I like it, but I want some opinions on it, on things like, the bass part, and more importantly coming up with a decent lead guitar part (denoted by 'Guitar [Matt]' in the gp5 file).

I'm more than will to let people have a go at writting their own parts for this. All help/constructive crits are welcomed, etc, etc.

Is it too repetative? boring? need a bit of jazzing up in parts? anything parts/sections you would have added?

Cheers people,

PS: Some parts are supposed to be a 'bit odd sounding' lol Basically if you don't like this sort of music and don't have anything construtive to say don't say it.
Attachments:
Lost Continent.ZIP
ouchies
UG's OG
Join date: Jan 2006
1,613 IQ
#2
I love love love heavy music of all sorts.

Unfortunatly your piece wasn't good. In fact i only listened to it halfway before i x'd out.

You need to make it heavier or more interesting. Throwing in a couple of harmonies that sound like crap might be interesting for a little bit, but just repeating it over and over at such a slow speed is boring and gives headache.

The drums were terrible as well.

To make it better you can add more contrast, I saw you tried to do that with the melo breaks, but it didn't really feel like it worked. Also try and add some nondissonant harmonies. Also, even though the time signature was complex, the rhyhm was still boring.
Of_Wolves
Silver Satellite Eyes
Join date: Feb 2007
718 IQ
#3
I know what you mean there. However how would us suggest I make the rhythm "non-boring"?

I figure I don't have many harmonies going on because I pretty much have a lack of a lead guitar part at the moment. (I'm only a rhythm guitarist and I really don't have much luck with writing a lead riff.)

On the topic of 'heavier', I don't think Midi ever does that justice. In my opinion it sounds much heavier played on real guitars lol.

Anyway anbody else wanna say anything.

I must say though if you want to crit please listen to it all the way through as well, it goes with out saying.
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Feb 21, 2007,
Spark1284
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2004
244 IQ
#4
as i say to all metalcore posts... try a genre thats still interesting and not overplayed or at least make it more interesting instead of playing the same shit over and over. u have some good riffage tho. the drums were kind of annoying, i liked the synth and organ, it shoulda been used way more. and the dissonance used was better than most band, u actually put it in contrast to something intelligable and used it sparignly. overall... it was good for a dying genre
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Join date: Mar 2005
597 IQ
#5
IMO it was not very metalcore... The verse is very metalcore tho and goes on a little to long. The breakdown is so metalcore and so generic I'd remove it entirely. After that it gets dramaticly better tho.Tthe faster section is great and I love the tempo changes. Great stuff. The outro pretty much sucks tho
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Of_Wolves
Silver Satellite Eyes
Join date: Feb 2007
718 IQ
#6
Thanks for the crits peeps. Oh and uhm what genre would you put it under :P I think I'm maybe mis-representing myself here, heh.

Well I've updated a bit, subtle[ish] rhymic and harmony changes, here and there.

Have fun. Probably won't update too much after this. Need to move on.
Attachments:
Lost Continent.ZIP
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Feb 22, 2007,
tabs aint cats
not as dumb as my nick!
Join date: Mar 2005
597 IQ
#7
^Definitely better. Good thing you cut down the verse a bit. The breakdown got a little bit more interesting. The best part it still the one with sudden tempo changes. The outro got better but still not good. Anyway I agree with you, you should move on.
I have a really slow way of writing songs but if you check these forums regularly I'm sure you'll see my new song in the next few weeks
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Fatt Sorum
UG's Resident Emo
Join date: Oct 2005
819 IQ
#8
*chokes on own vomit*

sorry, i hated it
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Of_Wolves
Silver Satellite Eyes
Join date: Feb 2007
718 IQ
#9


Mmm nice crit there Fatt ....

Moving on thanks for the criticing Tabs Much apriciated. When I can be bothered to sit around staring at Guitar pro for a bit I usually come out with a song or two. I've decided just now I'm going to write something every night If I get time. Practice makes perfect and all that stuff 'ey lol

PM me or something when you get something up and I'll return the kindness,
Cheers mate.
NovemberRain273
I don't like Guns n Roses
Join date: Oct 2005
5,451 IQ
#10
I cant say I liked the intro. You werent really using the 5/4 timing effectively, other than that the parts didnt sound good together. The verse is great, loved that. The breakdown was alright. The faster section sounded way too random and didnt sound good to my ears. Altofether, it was alright but definetly needs some work.
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King ofKumbucha
Gore not Core
Join date: Jan 2006
1,851 IQ
#11
The intro sounds kind of happy to my ears... might want to change whatever scale you are using.

Bars 9-14 were good but you repeat them a bit much and the second guitar that comes in on the later repeats doesn't do anything for me.

The verse is better than the opening. but it's still too pleasant imo.

Breakdown was a bit too generic but then again what can you do with a breakdown that hasn't already been done?

I liked melo break 2 and bars 68 and 69. They were short and sweet.

The drums DEFINITELY need to push harder on bars 71 and 72.

I guess this just isn't really my style of music. The only metalcore band I really like is As I Lay Dying. But I guess those are the parts I would work on the most. The rest seemed ok but nothing really jumped out at me and tore ass. Maybe if you dropped your tuning more it might give it more of an edge. Hope something I said helped...

Crit Mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=532182
Last edited by King ofKumbucha at Feb 28, 2007,
nexteyenate
UG's Passafire Fan
Join date: Jun 2006
1,590 IQ
#12
i dont like this style of metal that much but this was a very good example of what can be done in that style of metal. good job
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GuitarDaemon
Music keeps me goin.
Join date: Jan 2007
65 IQ
#13
Hm.. I really didnt know what to think about this. The key was a good sound, but the rythym of the song sounded very repetitive, therefore got boring about halfway thru. Bars 9-26 . .again, good notes, bad, redundant sound. Throw some 16ths and tied notes in there for some variation. I think the overall feel for what it could be has alot of potential, but its just lacking a little bit of originality in some parts.
The 2nd guitar (Matt) during the breakdown .. not appealing really at all. Doesnt follow along with the groove of the rest of the song; which isnt necessarily bad, but due to the lack of variations . its to sharp of a transition. Bars 75 - 78 had a good feel to em, but i think alot of the dead notes should be real notes cuz it sounds a little bland.
I really liked the 'melo-break'/'return guitars' parts tho.
Overall I think the sound is unique and has a original vibe, but its kinda bland and most of its improvement could come from altering the way the notes are played without changing the key. I'd say changing 1/3 of the way you play the notes could really emphasize the feeling and potential of this song.
Good start =)
Of_Wolves
Silver Satellite Eyes
Join date: Feb 2007
718 IQ
#15
Uhm ... riiiiight. Thanks for that mate.

And cheers GuitarDaemon for a real crit lol, If I ever have the urge to work on this song again I shall take some of your advice, although I'm not 100% sure what you mean by changing the way the notes are played. Could I get clarification on that?