#1
Hey everyone this is the first song I have ever written and I just wrote it today. Here is what I got please give me and feedback or criticism.

Dark climbs to the sky,
It’s midnight in the Lion’s Den.
A chill runs through my spine,
But I feel the warmth of my friend.
The dark is deep and coyotes howl to the moon,
Light shines through the gloom.

Chorus

We see the edge of the land,
But freedom is just out of hand.
We whisk through trees of shadow,
The pursuit of lawful lights, an awful glow.
Think I’m safe, I must keep my senses,
The only thing that keeps me boundless.

Chorus

Out of breath and out of time,
Waiting by the pond, black and arcane.
Buried treasure to later find,
The hidden cache, time spent in vain.
Time slips; down the hourglass go the grains,
Through winding paths and forbidden plains.

Chorus

I feel the rush and adrenalin flow,
Cruise on to the streetlight glow.
Flying past the Guardian’s shade,
We race to freedom, no debt to be paid.

Chorus

I still haven't figured out what I want for a chorus this is one idea

It’s midnight in the Lion’s Den,
And I don’t know if I’ll make it through.
I may be singing them big house blues

It’s midnight in the Lion’s Den,
And I don’t know if I’ll make it through.
I may be singing them big house blues

Thanks for your help.
#2
Check the FAQ before you post again please. Just the tiel next time.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.