#1
One of my first tries in songwriting so Im not expecting too much, but anyways. =P

The ALMOST's in capital letters

You are all I need
I mean it - you are all I see
Well, ALMOST all I need
There are some other stuff that I need too-
I've got to admit.


Food and a bed, a comfortable bed
A bunch of clothes of course, and a roof over my head
But dont you take it wrong, I'm nothing on my own
This whole world is useless if I'm all alone, of course.

You should definitely know
That you are all I need
I mean it - you are all I see
You are all I need

I've got nothing else to wish
I just need you here with me
Because you are all I need

Baby, don't you ever leave
You know you are all I need
Well, ALMOST all I need
There are some other things that I need too-
you see.


A day at the casino
and a classy flashy limo to show off to my friends.
Some money to spend, 'cause it's driving me insane!
Maybe a winning lottery ticket so I won't EVER have to work.

You are all I need
You are all I see
Really, you are all I need
You are all I wish

But if I get the chance to have the world in my hands
I won't be saying no
Baby please understand.
Got too deep but - how deep is too deep?

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#2
hey wow thats pretty good for your 1st try. lol better than my 1st.

what genre whould this song be in if you had the choice?
uh...ya
#3
it is okay for a first cheak out my second called "falling down"
bassguitar4ever
#4
You are all I need Pretty generic, not the strong opening line you need. Try to make it more intriguing, like a hook.
I mean it - you are all I see The 'I mean it' seems a bit childish and sounds a bit more forceful than you may want.
Well, ALMOST all I need
There are some other stuff that I need too- Really, really childish sounding. Use better terminology than 'other stuff' to express what you mean. Stuff just doesn't really contribute anything.
I've got to admit.

Food and a bed, a comfortable bed
A bunch of clothes of course, and a roof over my head 'Of course' makes this sound like conversation, which I don't think really works for this song.
But dont you take it wrong, I'm nothing on my own
This whole world is useless if I'm all alone, of course.

You should definitely know
That you are all I need
I mean it - you are all I see
You are all I need
This completely contradicts everything else you spent time saying.

I've got nothing else to wish
I just need you here with me
Because you are all I need
Same thing here. You need to somehow show that there's been a change in mind or something. Otherwise this and the previous make no sense and are not relevant to the song.

Baby, don't you ever leave
You know you are all I need
Well, ALMOST all I need
There are some other things that I need too-
you see.
I don't get the point of the first line. It shows you want the person, but then you say they aren't that important or they had better provide for you what they lack. It seems bratty and makes no sense.

A day at the casino
and a classy flashy limo to show off to my friends.
Some money to spend, 'cause it's driving me insane!
Maybe a winning lottery ticket so I won't EVER have to work.
Okay, I really hope this is done in a mockery fashion or with sarcasm. (Sorry. That's all I'm going to say here.)

You are all I need
You are all I see
Really, you are all I need
You are all I wish
Contradiction.

But if I get the chance to have the world in my hands
I won't be saying no
Baby please understand.

Alright, this song is a tad bit confusing. Are you saying you really love this person, but if you had the chance for a better life without them you would take it? Let me know and I'll finish critting this.

I don't want to give my impression on it without at least making sure it's what I think it's about. Otherwise, I'll sound like an ass.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep