Thank's to the help of my new guitarist... I've actually begun to write music that goes somewhere, so Hopefully this is going somewhere, hence the reason of my posting this. The song is not near finished, however I'm posting this here just to get an opinion on what you all think of it so far, and if it's going somewhere, or if it just drags on.

As for the other file in there... "Duracell"... haha that's just another beginning of a Power Metal song we're working on as well, just I'd like to know what you think of it as of now. (It's not really called duracell... its just the first word I saw on my desk when saving the file haha)

it should be known, to those who don't already know, that i've been playing guitar for just under 11 months...

Crit for Crit, and thanks for listening
Within The Fire.zip
~~You are nothing. I am a God among men, creating the Universe before leaving you blinded and wandering.~~
Letters to Zaya
Last edited by Ryioku at Feb 21, 2007,
rad's good i reckon
~~You are nothing. I am a God among men, creating the Universe before leaving you blinded and wandering.~~
Letters to Zaya
IF you ever play Within The fire in a live situation your bass player is either going to love you or hate you lol. Personally I love the part you wrote there. All in all I think this is definately going somewhere, I think it you build it up to a 'big riff' or something nearer the end you'll have a great piece of music there mate. Although I do think you might want to rethink the choir ahh's at the beginning they sound, to me at least, a tab boring. Perhaps a bit of more a diff. harmony?

As for Duracell, well, it works, for sure, With the right guitar parts after that it should be good. Oh uhm before I forget the drums sounded a bit off in Duracell, It works and all, but to me it sounded as though some of the crashs were a beat later or something. Thats all I can really find on that one.

Update me on the progress of these two I really interested. Your use use of grand, keyboards and general orchestral-ness caught my eye, lol mind you this is supposed to be Symphonic/Power so hehe.

Anyway, I'd love it if you could crit back my piece, Its called "The Lost Continent" should be on the first page, perhaps. I'd like some opinions/ideas on how to make it better.

Ooo and heres the link if you need it
its awsome but some parts on the guitar just seem out of tune, i dont know if its intended or not, but its still nice i liked the piano muches
Quote by unfathomable_bo
Well it isnt hard to bend a string that has the tension of a piece of well cooked spaghetti, especially when you have hands like goalkeeper gloves

My songs: (more to come) (C4C's)
Screams fell silent underneath the black sun
The intro reminded me alot of One on Duracell.

Within the fire however... that's amazing so far. I want it to be finished.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Not bad - as someone already said, the choir at the beginning sounds a bit bland, maybe use some different intervals other than octaves - try adding some minor thirds, generally works well in power metal. Some of the guitar lead work towards the end sounded a little out of time with the rest of the instruments - didn't fit perfectly (unless you're aiming for that) - this is Riff 3 in particular, just didn't work for me.

Plus points: Piano part is very well written, works very nicely. Guitar 1 rhythm for bars 81-84 sounds very good, maybe keep the triplets going a bit further and lead into something, would add to the epic feel (solo maybe?). Bass part is well written but gets lost within everything else - maybe a break to allow the bass to shine.

There are some good ideas but needs a bit of tweaking - I'd like to see finished product though - 6/10