#1
past memories they aren't what they seem
cuz mate your grass was never green
getting wasted out on the street
hanging round with types you don't wanna meet
Down the line 10 years from then
still seein the same old places again
say to yourself you will change soon
then all will see the real you

But one by one
as the people move on
your still sittin here
singing the same song
The pigs they are waiting
and there ready to swoop
for the day when
you finally come through

could you not see right from the start
you forced yourself to live apart
others they all do their bit
to work and family they commit
while you are wasted on your own
in the 2 room pit you call your home
sitting back enjoyin the view
waiting for it all to come to you


But one by one
as the people move on
your still sittin here
singing the same song
The pigs they are waiting
and there ready to swoop
for the day when
you finally come through


opportunities they've come and gone
you still don't feel like you belong
In the future things will change
meanwhile you wait for the summer rain
Denial is the tell tale sign
that you are slowly losing your mind
Sit and think of people that you once knew
and wonder if they still think of you

As time moves on
it becomes harder to see
how there could be an end
to this misery
can see things need changing
but you wont sacrifice
your, way of life
cuz ,you think there's still time

Hide away from your regrets
but you can't avoid the voices in your head
gettin louder,
They're getting louder
Hide away from your regrets
but you can't avoid the voices in your head
gettin louder,
They're getting louder

Did you simply lose track of time
or to your fate were just blind
shocked to see your time won't come
and you might never find 'the one'
but on that night you saw the light
your body stopped you lost your life
you were left alone to sit and rot
6 months unnoticed in the same spot

Your journeys over
and your storie's been told
you wern't scared of dieing
but feared getting old
No motivation
you just wasted your life
waiting to die
you were just living to die

By all means forget regrets
but don't blank out the voices in your head
gettin louder
(when there)gettin louder
By all means forget regrets
but don't blank out the voices in your head
gettin louder
(when there)gettin louder
#2
Nice concept and theme. Try not to use colluquial language (Slang) as it looks out of place in a song (personal opinion)

I thought the third verse was a bit too straight forward to fit in with the rest of the song, if you know what I mean. What sort of genre are you looking at?

EDIT: Oh, and make sure grammar, spelling and punctuation are correct and try to use Queens English (Or American English, if that's where you're from) Sorry if I seem like an English teacher here, but if you can present it properly it makes people want to read it, instead of brushing it off as another generic song.

Great try, you should use/build on this in future.
Last edited by funky.monk at Feb 21, 2007,
#3
i know what you mean about the colloquial language but if I write it out fully I can't maintain the rhythm in some bits. Only wrote it last night so it's not finished yet. Cheers for the crit anyway it's been useful and btw im most definetly english!