#1
The salty breeze keeps blowing the sand across her feet
The rhythm of her footsteps repeat softly off concrete
She don’t where she’s going, or why she’s got to leave
The seagulls call their goodbyes as she walks along the street

She don’t like to think of growing old in years to come
Forgetting what she’s lived for and losing battles won
She loves the sound of laughter, it keeps her feeling young
Well love is an adventure and her journey’s just begun

She’s going going gone
The colors, they’ve all faded and all the notes sound wrong
She’s going going gone
Searching for that place where she could feel like she belongs

She says if these are your golden years, well I don’t feel so golden
Cause the minutes fly and the years go by and I don’t feel the same
I can’t remember any time that I wasn’t on my own, it’s strange
In a world so full of people, we could still feel so alone

She’s going going gone
The colors, they’ve all faded and all the notes sound wrong
She’s going going gone
Searching for that place where she could feel like she belongs

Bridge
And the years have taken their toll on the face that launched a thousand ships
But if you look real close her eyes reveal those smile lines creased on her lips
You know the years have taken their toll on the face that launched a thousand ships
But if you look real close her eyes reveal those smile lines creased on her lips

She’s going going gone
The streetlights have all burned out and the sun kisses the ground
She’s going going gone
She’s walk down the sidewalk, making music without a sound

Then the dark rain clouds roll overhead
And as the drops begin to fall
She lifts her face to kiss the sky
And let the water cleanse her soul

She’s gone
#2
i really loved this piece except

Then the dark rain clouds roll overhead
And as the drops begin to fall
She lifts her face to kiss the sky
And let the water cleanse her soul

She’s gone

that.

it seemed a bit over the top and corny, but maybe that ending could suit the rest of the piece but i think you could do better just judging on how well the rest of this was written.

anyways the rhymes were actually very effective and not too predictable which is rare because most people are real bad at rhyming and the flow was amazing.

the first line of the bridge and the last line of the 4th stanza were my favorites, even if they are a littttle cliche you made them work.
#3
The salty breeze keeps blowing the sand across her feet
The rhythm of her footsteps repeat softly off concrete
Echo instead of repeat works much better
She don’t where she’s going, or why she’s got to leave
Doesn't, not don't here. Just for grammar purposes, I realise it's better to sing like that
The seagulls call their goodbyes as she walks along the street
Very nice open. Little, if any flaws here.

She don’t like to think of growing old in years to come
Forgetting what she’s lived for and losing battles won
end bit hear can be improved. I dislike losing battels won, just isn't original enough.
She loves the sound of laughter, it keeps her feeling young
Well love is an adventure and her journey’s just begun
It's great how so far, not a single rhyme feels forced. nice job

She’s going going gone
The colors, they’ve all faded and all the notes sound wrong
She’s going going gone
Searching for that place where she could feel like she belongs
Last line here is rather clumsy in execution. So far th eonly line I really have a problem with.

She says if these are your golden years, well I don’t feel so golden
Cause the minutes fly and the years go by and I don’t feel the same
I can’t remember any time that I wasn’t on my own, it’s strange
In a world so full of people, we could still feel so alone
Great flow here. Good stuff.

She’s going going gone
The colors, they’ve all faded and all the notes sound wrong
She’s going going gone
Searching for that place where she could feel like she belongs

Bridge
And the years have taken their toll on the face that launched a thousand ships
I'd be inclined to ask you to search for a synonym or metaphor for "years", you say it toomuch in this song
But if you look real close her eyes reveal those smile lines creased on her lips
"smile lines" is one of those phrases that would benefit by replacing it with a metaphor or something a little bit more original.
You know the years have taken their toll on the face that launched a thousand ships
But if you look real close her eyes reveal those smile lines creased on her lips

She’s going going gone
The streetlights have all burned out and the sun kisses the ground
She’s going going gone
She’s walk down the sidewalk, making music without a sound

Then the dark rain clouds roll overhead
And as the drops begin to fall
She lifts her face to kiss the sky
And let the water cleanse her soul

She’s gone
Eh, I odn't think it needs this ending. I don't know, I just don't feel it needs this sort of obvious ending with the whole raining thing. but that's just me.

Very, very solid songwriting. Really well done on seemingly unforced rhyming and great flow.
#5
I really like the imagery in this one, I naturally imagined everything you described happening as I read through it, do you have a specific style of music in mind for it?

Here's mine if you want to check it out, I've never really seen this part of the forum until today, so it's my first one. And I guess people skip it when they don't recognize my name, so I'd appreciate it. Keep up the good work.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=530457
#6
acoustic guitar, maybe piano, hand-percussion. i actually wrote a progression for the verses, chorus and bridge already, now it's just fitting in the lyrics. : )