#1
In the battlefield staring at bloody fists
Looking around at nothing thinking this is it?
All these people having to hardway juice
I know I'm here but what's the deuce?
Step back now, it's getting ready to explode
Destructing everything inside of your area code
Wasn't much of a reason for these goings on
Should have stayed and watched the football season on BBC1
It's not just the people, animals gettin funky
I'm blowing the heads off of pachyderms and green monkeys
Is this what I was meant to be
Because it doesn't feel right and it shouldn't for anybody

Shooting up the desert
Violence in the jungle
Killing people, animals, things that are fungal
I thought it was a good deed
Now my mind bungles

I'm partaking in a wicked task
The kind that requires me a gas mask
But the masks only for the highly taxed nation
Tobacco and alcohol cost me so much and this is the compensation
I wander strangelands with a gun, it's natives dying
Hoping that the world's leaders weren't lying, when they said to us
If we didn't act now it'd be our families that sucked the gun
But then I saw that everyone in this bites the bullet
Would've been cheaper if I stayed home and played Gauntlet

Shooting up the desert
Violence in the jungle
Killing people, animals, things that are fungal
I thought it was a good deed
Now my mind bungles
Now my mind bungles
#2
Before I even start critting this, I have to say... wow. At first, I'm going be honest, I read through this three times and then ran. It's long, man. I've decided however to buckle down and look through it anyway. I hope this helps.

In the battlefield, staring at bloody fists
Looking around at nothing thinking this is it?
This is slightly strange, you have a prepostional phrase and three participles leading up to an independent, but...there is no independent clause. There's a big build-up, and then bam! new sentence. It caught me off guard and sortof disrupted the flow. Also, you didn't let us know who was doing all of this stuff. You or somebody else? We don't know. Be sure to clarify this with a revision.
All these people having to hardway juice
I know I'm here but what's the deuce?
Hmm.... this sounds a tad bit forced. Try not to focus so much on rhyming the actual content quality suffers.
Step back now, it's getting ready to explode
Destructing everything inside of your area code
Is destructing a word? I think destroying would work better right there. Your area code seems like an obvious rhyme, try to rewrite that with a more original use.
Wasn't much of a reason for these goings on
Goings on doesn't really fit the tone of the rest of the song to me. Wasn't also sounds odd with no subject. I suggest rewording this line to include a subject and better verbs. For something like this, I think using action verbs over linking would greatly benefit the overall quality. It would certainly make narrating alot easier.

Should have stayed and watched the football season on BBC1
It's not just the people, animals gettin funky
Okay, real forced rhyming. If it weren't for the next line, would you really have used funky right here? I hope not.
I'm blowing the heads off of pachyderms and green monkeys
Is this what I was meant to be
Because it doesn't feel right and it shouldn't for anybody

Shooting up the desert
Violence in the jungle
Killing people, animals, things that are fungal
I thought it was a good deed
Now my mind bungles
Once again, try not to make decisions for word choice based off of whether or not it will rhyme. Really weird, overall-tone contradicting, vocab.

I'm partaking in a wicked task
The kind that requires me a gas mask
But the masks only for the highly taxed nation
Tobacco and alcohol cost me so much and this is the compensation
I would break up the last line a bit differently. Maybe break it after much. It'll work much better that way since there is already a natural pause there anyways.
I wander strangelands with a gun, it's natives dying
Hoping that the world's leaders weren't lying, when they said to us
If we didn't act now it'd be our families that sucked the gun
I love the message here and the meat of the imagery, but you need to find a less wordy way to say this. For example, cut them back something like this...

I wander strangelands with a gun, it's natives dying
Hoping the world's leaders weren't lying, when they said to us
If we didn't act now it'd be our families sucking the gun

Another thing, I'd like to point out. The use of gun twice here is very redundant. Since you haven't utilized it any sort of parallel structure, one of them should really be replaced.


But then I saw that everyone in this bites the bullet
Would've been cheaper if I stayed home and played Gauntlet
Don't rhyme here. It would make it alot better. Trust me.

Shooting up the desert
Violence in the jungle
Killing people, animals, things that are fungal
I thought it was a good deed
Now my mind bungles
Now my mind bungles

Overall, this is okay. I like your voice, but I think you are really dragging the song down with the forced rhyming. Just try to write some of the roughpatches without rhyming in mind. It will sound alot better. Other than that, great job, man.

If you don't mind, please take a look at mine and return the favor. It's called Ticking Time Bomb, thanks.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep