Could anyone point me in the direction of tabs for some funky porno-type music, or even just tell me the basics of how to construct riffs like that? Probably like, ninth chords, lots of muting, right?

I saw a video of some guy playing stuff like that. I chill at my friend's house a lot, and he'll have lots of people over and we just chill and play guitar, and stuff invariably happens. Knowing how to play that stuff could make for some fun moments, y'know?
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I think you'd best just listen to a lot of old funk/soul/jazz funk stuff, then it oughtta come naturally.

If you want, I can provide you with some links.

EDIT: nvm, it's not on rapidshare anymore.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.