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#1
Similar to the thread in the pit asking what the dumbest thing someone told you about guitars, this thread will be dedicated to those ****faces pretending to think that they are, know about, or are better than the greatest genre of music, metal. I don't know if a thread similar to this has been made, but i figure what the hell. So I will start us off with a rather blantant example of someone trying to know what they are talking about. One day me and my friend who is very very stupid and retarded and has some issues to work out were talking about the musics. At the time i had a physical love for DragonForce so i talked about them for most of the time, he then proceded to call me a pussy for liking power metal and told me to listen to more "death metal", so i told him, name 5 "death metal" bands. He then proceded to name the most horrid bands of all time which included but were not limited to, TRIVIUM.., KORN, and then he ****ing said, Linkin Park... i just yelped at him to stop instantly before i ended his life with a legion of toothpicks and pieces of heavy mining equipment. So, let us hear some of UG'S stories of failed attempts to be metal.
Quote by larrytheguitar

I put the blanket over me and make my knees into a 'tent' so he couldn't see my boner. I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.


BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#7
Someone already told me

"Metal is going nowhere these days"..... Wait, that statement is true, eh oups
Brokeback Lego - Animation Movie I Made

Quote by \GuitarHero/
Our band mascot is a Muffin.



A recent study shows that 8% of teenagers listen to nothing but music with guitars in it. Put this in your sig if you're one of the 92% who aren't close-minded morons.
#8
someone once told me if i listened to too much metal my wanker would shrivel and fall off....im still waiting for that day but until then i just beat the shit outta those chavs
Sex is good
Sex is fine
Doggy Style & 69
Just for fun
Or gettin paid
Everyone likes gettin laid
#9
panic at the disco is better than slayer.
metal is just screaming and they cant play.
metal sucks.
edit: all metal is for satanists

thats bullshit
Quote by benenov
love is when a girl can fit both my balls in her mouth.
#11
Christians can't be in black metal *see's if anybody notices*
FAN OF EMPEROR ?

Quote by Magero
Theres more of us it wont be long before we you over the world and you can burn all the churchs you want


I'm MAD about Black Metal. Ask me about Church Burnings.
#13
Quote by IbanezSA160a
At the time i had a physical love for DragonForce



Please elaborate.
- Treat people the way you would like to be treated.
- Don't do to others what you wouldn't like others to do to you.
- Live and let live.
- Always tell the truth.
- If someone looks at you, just give them a nice smile they won't soon forget
#14
I remember someone, one of my brothers, saying that shred is better than metal.

I then picked up my brother's Epi Les Paul Special II and then pretended to shred, making high pitched squeels with my mouth, and then saying "look at me, I'm Dreamtheatre!"
Will says:
DON'T FEAR THE REAPER!
- SmarterChild - says:
I don't know if I can help it.

Member #6 of the "I play my guitar as high as Tom Morello does" club
#16
Quote by Will_Minus
I remember someone, one of my brothers, saying that shred is better than metal.

I then picked up my brother's Epi Les Paul Special II and then pretended to shred, making high pitched squeels with my mouth, and then saying "look at me, I'm Dreamtheatre!"


in some instances shred and metal are synonimous
#17
Quote by yawn
"It's good!"


*giggle*



dammit, that was my answer (minus the giggle, i'd be serious!)
#18
Any opinion that I have on Metal. Ever.
LAMMERGEIER
Disclaimer: Dyer's Eve can not be held responsible for the loss of time spent or the insult to your aural senses as a result of exploring this link
#19
The dumbest thing I've ever heard about metal is
"Dude, Children of Bodom sucks, you should listen to heavy metal stuff like Fall Out Boy."
I shit you not. It has been said.
#20
"christian metal????!!! haha thats an oxymoron!"

and pretty much anybody on youtube. that site is a manifestation of the most moronic, eogtistical, ignorant things who call themselves people on the planet.
¤¤¤¤¤ ۩ ۝РЄŦĤ ۩ ¤¤¤¤¤
۩ ВŁĄÇĶŴĄŦЄŖ РĄŖĶ ۩


Quote by deadskinmask
I think you should listen to Bodom_Shredder7.

Quote by xolax
Listen to Bodom_Shredder, he knows what hes talking about

Quote by Alucard II
Bodom Shredder was right

SevenLastWordsOfChrist
#21
Quote by CaptainOfSmug
Christians can't be in black metal *see's if anybody notices*


I've heard a lot of 'Yeah I'm a heavy metal guy when I'm partying, rocking out with BFMV, Slipknot, etc.'
Not necessarily about metal, more about shows and headbanging: 'So at these shows you go to people just jump around hitting each other and spinning their hair? Now why would you do that! It looks awful for a girl to be doing that. While all these foolish children are doing that, you dance nicely, see how good it looks and how everyone will appreciate you.' My grandma said that. 'Twas very cute.
#22
Quote by Will_Minus
I remember someone, one of my brothers, saying that shred is better than metal.

I then picked up my brother's Epi Les Paul Special II and then pretended to shred, making high pitched squeels with my mouth, and then saying "look at me, I'm Dreamtheatre!"
Fuck off, retard. Dream Theater = metal, and they > you.
#24
Quote by Bodom_Shredder7


and pretty much anybody on youtube. that site is a manifestation of the most moronic, eogtistical, ignorant things who call themselves people on the planet.


I'm on YouTube

A lot of people have told me metal does not take any talent.

Also apparently my university counsellor said that with my taste in music, I'd never get into college
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#25
Quote by Dyer's Eve
Any opinion that I have on Metal. Ever.


Dyer's speaks the truth.

Hm....well, sadly enough I have a list.

1. "Pfft, Opeth is just random noise and distortion. Korn has actual songs!" Dont get me started on that one.
2. "I dont like Slayer cuz I heard they eat goats live" This kid was serious too.
3. "Why the **** do they call it black metal if its all white guys playing it?"
#26
on youtube theres a video of scenes from commando set to death covering judas priests 'painkiller'
some ****ing moron posted "this song sucks. emo sucks"

thats probably the most horrible.


then there was some kid saying that i won't progress as a guitarist listening to death metal, if i want to listen to heavy bands with 'brilliant guitar work' i should listen to avenged sevenfold.
Quote by B4Dkarma
When you look at a guy and immediately go, "wow, what a douchebag"

that is what girls find attractive.
#27
^umm... you'll find the same inane comments on UG.

Idiots are not limited to particular websites. They do not have a natural habitat.
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#30
lol these posts are pretty funny especially when someone called Fall Out Boy heavy metal, lmfao, another one was said by my friend who acutally lsitens to metal, he of which proceeded to call Job For a Cowboy metalcore......... i wanted to pee in his coke when he said that
Quote by larrytheguitar

I put the blanket over me and make my knees into a 'tent' so he couldn't see my boner. I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.


BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#31
Quote by IbanezSA160a
lol these posts are pretty funny especially when someone called Fall Out Boy heavy metal, lmfao, another one was said by my friend who acutally lsitens to metal, he of which proceeded to call Job For a Cowboy metalcore......... i wanted to pee in his coke when he said that

Uhh, JFAC is metalcore
FAN OF EMPEROR ?

Quote by Magero
Theres more of us it wont be long before we you over the world and you can burn all the churchs you want


I'm MAD about Black Metal. Ask me about Church Burnings.
#32
^Deathcore?
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#34
There are plenty of faggots in my town that use the term "BRO" to categorize a certain type of band.

A "bro" band, according to one of them, is a band who tries too hard to be a hardcore band and sucks at it.

One of them asked me if I have ever heard this "Waking the Cadaver" nonsense. I showed her Reduced To Ashes by Deeds of Flesh to her and she replied:

"DUDE BRO, OMG BRO TURN IT OFF"

I laughed hysterically.
Our skin worn thin
Our bones exposed
Life reduced to ticks
#35
AFTER Listening to Duality and Sacrifice Unto Sebek, a n00b still told me that Slipknot was heavier then Nile. I darn near smacked the bitch.
#37
Me: What metal bands do you like?
Girl: HiM, Gn'R, Motley Crue, Alice Cooper
Me: Wait, since when was Alice Cooper considered heavy metal?
Girl: He invented it....retard
I've found Jesus
#38
Quote by Mr. President
AFTER Listening to Duality and Sacrifice Unto Sebek, a n00b still told me that Slipknot was heavier then Nile. I darn near smacked the bitch.




Thats the best one so far.
#39
I think Alice Cooper is the shit though, pretty sure he was the first one to cut off his own head
FAN OF EMPEROR ?

Quote by Magero
Theres more of us it wont be long before we you over the world and you can burn all the churchs you want


I'm MAD about Black Metal. Ask me about Church Burnings.
#40
Well, some bastard said to me..."Metal gets boring after a while."...and then he said "Metal takes no skill because everyone in metal is talentless, Kurt Cobain could F*cking own Dimebag Darrell at guitar." Yeah, he's a stupid pig moron, the bastard that is...Well technically he's a bastard stupid pig moron...But you get the picture. I hope.