King ofKumbucha
Gore not Core
Join date: Jan 2006
1,851 IQ
#1
Not sure what genre it is, but it's definitely metal.
I posted an early draft of this song a few months ago and I decided yesterday to fix it up. I basically completely reworked the parts that people told me to scrap but left what they (and I) liked.

Crit for crit and I will try my best to give you an equal amount of feedback.

*UPDATED*

Scroll down for an edited version. It's on post # 8. Most recent is post #11.
Attachments:
New WinRAR ZIP archive.zip
Last edited by King ofKumbucha at Feb 28, 2007,
killsweng
Stay Metal \m/
Join date: Jul 2006
76 IQ
#2
Your melodic passage was the most interesting part of the song. The bass worked nicely. Dunno what you're doing with the tempo = 300 bit, that was totally out of left field. Other than that though, i found all of the riffs to be pretty generic and un-interesting. I didnt like you're bridge at all, just doesnt sound great. Sorry mate.
BC_Joshlz
Outworld!
Join date: Jan 2007
935 IQ
#3
hey man, thanks ur critting my song.

i thought ur song rocked personally. loved all the riffs and although people say u dont have anything original in the song, the harmony part was definitely original. In a good way, lol.
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buckethead_jr
Registered User
Join date: Jan 2006
6,792 IQ
#4
I liked that.
The intro riff was, well, pretty generic tbh, nothing i haven't heard before. But you're drums were great, and so was the guitar part on bar 5.
The Chorus was good. Great guitar riff, great drums, it works.
Bridge: well...a couple of you're harmony notes were off. But that can easily be fixed. I liked you're idea for it, but just a couple of bum notes.
Melodic passage was excellent. Can't flaw that. Great.
Solo: started well, but you're passing notes in bar 35 didn't go fast enough really and sounded out of key. The rest was awesome but in bar 38, i personally didn't like it, seems like you were just shredding for the hell of it, but i'm very picky on these things I'd really need to hear it recorded to judge it.
Breakdown: Excellent, but nothing really original.
Loved you're verse, that was amazing, as was you're outro.
You're bass thoughout worked very well.


Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=527510
Kirby651
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2006
294 IQ
#5
The first and last parts of the song sounded pretty generic. Theres nothing wrong with that though. The melodic part was great and the weird parts were weird. Most points have already been made so i don't have much to say....

I don't think there is anything wrong with some generic parts. If this song didn't have any familiar parts the whole thing would be very hard to follow. I Like the drums at the start but they sound like a pop\rock song, not this.

Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=532269
Last edited by Kirby651 at Feb 24, 2007,
Wintersun>you
Banned
Join date: Feb 2007
20 IQ
#6
yeah, there's nothing really wrong with the generic parts.
I loved you're chorus and melodic passage, they were excellent.
For the Bridge, idk really. It sounded quite weird to me.

I'll post a link to mine later, it's not up yet
Alucard II
In Spheres of Madness
Join date: Apr 2005
731 IQ
#7
i love the chorus and first verse. those riffs were awesome. not mad on the solo. also that 300bpm bar was awesome, haha
King ofKumbucha
Gore not Core
Join date: Jan 2006
1,851 IQ
#8
Here is the updated version. I changed the bridge (for the better I hope) and the intro drums. The solo remains as is because: 1. I'm not really much of a lead guitarist. I'm more a rhythm oriented guitarist.
and 2. Because I can't play much more technical a solo than that.

If anyone has any suggestions for the lead and could tab it out in guitar pro I'd very much appreciate it. I can always get my friend to play guitar two and the solo.
Attachments:
New WinRAR ZIP archive (2).zip
Last edited by King ofKumbucha at Feb 28, 2007,
Of_Wolves
Silver Satellite Eyes
Join date: Feb 2007
718 IQ
#9
Thanks for the Crit, mate, hmm now yours :P

There was nothing much that cuaght my attention per say, aside from the way you reversed the rhythm around in the verse riff, that was pretty cool.

One thing that I wasn't too sure about was the 'scale' you were using for the solo, it sounded a bit weird in places, ya know like the rhythm guitar was from a different song or something. eh I dunno ... you may wanna check that out mind you.

I'm more of a fan of insanely technical stuff usually as oppsoed to bashing out some open strings, etc. I must say mind you that it was good for what it was, good job. I enjoyed listening to it somewhat.

A thinking point for next time you compose something, perhaps think about jazzing guitar parts up a bit more so it doesn't get 'too' boring. I'm not saying to the point were you can play it but you get what I mean right? uniqueness in my books heh.

Stay cool, mate.
Paradox321
UG's Batman.
Join date: Mar 2006
155 IQ
#10
Thanks for the crit, dude.

I like this song a lot, it sounds pretty mosh-y in a lot of parts .

Although the guitar parts are slightly generic for this type of music, I still like them a lot. I've always liked '0-0-6-0-0' kind of riffs.

So far, I've spotted one problem. I'm not too crazy about the second bar of the bridge (#20). It sounds kind of random and out of key.

I love the transition into the melodic passage, nice.

Alright, the solo... it sounds very out of key in some places. The notes just don't seem to match with the rhythm part very well.

The breakdown and the outro are both nice, and overall, I really enjoyed this song a lot. I think your leads need a little bit of work, but other then that the song is really nice, good job.
King ofKumbucha
Gore not Core
Join date: Jan 2006
1,851 IQ
#11
Ok so I worked out the bridge a little bit as well as the rhythm section during the solo because I think the rhythm and lead were two different scales.
Hopefully this fixes all of the problems you guys found. Thanks for all of the advice thus far
Attachments:
New WinRAR ZIP archive (3).zip
Last edited by King ofKumbucha at Feb 28, 2007,
Ryioku
UG Senior Member
Join date: Jul 2006
1,294 IQ
#12
Typing as I listen.... some parts don't seeem to fit, mostly just the little fills that have different tempos. I'll agree with the others, some of the riffs, in fact, most of them, are a bit bland.. maybe with a lead melody, or an interesting vocal pattern, it would sound better.

The melodic passage, sounded good at first, but after a bit it just sort of started to... change key haha, and didn't sound as good. Same with the solo.


One thing i loved was your drums.... they're really good

Overall 6/10, for now

Thanks for critting mine
~~You are nothing. I am a God among men, creating the Universe before leaving you blinded and wandering.~~
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Csquared1001
UG Freak
Join date: Jul 2005
1,284 IQ
#13
Your overusing the Dark/Evil effect those intervals have. so dark and evil is's almost dissonant. Solo's OK maybe a 6 or 7 out of 10. Melodic part is ok. way too dark for my tastes and a bit repetative. Perhaps a bit more use of interesting chords ie. Dominant 7th, Minor, Diminished, Suspended, even Major instead of 4ths and 5ths. Even add a Clean part. Right now i'm going to give this a 6.5 out of 10. I'm really not into death metal though
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