#1
Welcome to the post apocalyptic.
Look and see the effects of what you have done.
Push me against the wall and shout.
Ask me what is this all about.
The cross upside down.
Bodies on the ground.
Buildings in decay.
Why is it this way?
Survivors, they tear away at flesh.
But would you say that they've succeeded?
They chew away, without noticing the spaying blood...
Tainted minds.
Human kind.
Parasites.
In the night.

Hear the ripping of the fabric.
Accused of being "satanic".
They will learn all that is true.
That the cause is not just you.
This day of reckoning will be unavenged, glory of wrathful inignation.
I deny god and all religion. Turn up the whites of their eyes... Dechristianize
#2
well now you posted it correctly . i am not much into poems and all i am much into song lyrics so i cant help you alot . but your piece reminds me of a movie "alive" in which a plane crashes on some freaky mountain and survivors start eating dead people
Hi
#3
Quote by abhishek21
i am not much into poems and all i am much into song lyrics so i cant help you alot .


These are lyrics <____<
This day of reckoning will be unavenged, glory of wrathful inignation.
I deny god and all religion. Turn up the whites of their eyes... Dechristianize
#4
well can you plz tell the genre of your song . it will help me alot to crit . and i am srry if you felt bad
Hi
#5
It's kind of a switch thing. Let me say it this way:

Welcome to the post apocalyptic.
Look and see the effects of what you have done.
Push me against the wall and shout.
Ask me what is this all about. -------------------------------------< This whole part is death metal.
The cross upside down.
Bodies on the ground.
Buildings in decay.
Why is it this way?-------------------------------------< This whole part is black metal.
Survivors, they tear away at flesh.
But would you say that they've succeeded?
They chew away, without noticing the spaying blood...
Tainted minds.
Human kind.
Parasites.
In the night.-------------------------------------< This whole part is death metal again.

Hear the ripping of the fabric.
Accused of being "satanic".
They will learn all that is true.
That the cause is not just you.-------------------------------------< And, shouted, kinda.
This day of reckoning will be unavenged, glory of wrathful inignation.
I deny god and all religion. Turn up the whites of their eyes... Dechristianize
#6
Quote by Smkiller
Welcome to the post apocalyptic.
Look and see the effects of what you have done.
Push me against the wall and shout.
Ask me what is this all about.

"ask me what's this all about" adds to flow

The cross upside down.
Bodies on the ground.
Buildings in decay.
Why is it this way?
Survivors, they tear away at flesh.
But would you say that they've succeeded?
They chew away, without noticing the spaying blood...


seems a little bit forced but whatever works for you just stick to that

Tainted minds.
Human kind.
Parasites.
In the night.

Hear the ripping of the fabric.
Accused of being "satanic".

word satanic hampers to flow a bit

They will learn all that is true.
That the cause is not just you.



overall i liked it srry about that whole poem thing
Hi